THE SURVIVAL GUIDE COMPLETE PROTECTION FROM THE LIVING DEAD AX BROOK THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE Survival Guide Complete Protection from the Living Dead Max Brooks Illustrations by Max Werner THREE ft I V E ft J PRESS • nevyouk Text copyright © 2003 by Max Brooks Illustrations copyright © 2003 by Max Werner All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Published by Three Rivers Press, New York, New York. Member of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc. wwwrandomhouse.com THREE RIVERS PRESS and the Tugboat design are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc. Printed in the United States of America Design by Debbie Glasserman Library of Congress Cataloging-in-PublicationData Brooks, Max. The zombie survival guide : complete protection from the living dead / Max Brooks. 1. Zombies — Humor I. Title. PN6231.Z65B76 2003 81S.602 — dc21 ZOO2155370 ISBN 1-4000-4962-8 15 14 13 12 11 First Edition For Mom and Dad. And for Michelle, who makes life worth fighting for. CONTENTS Introduction xiii THE UNDEAD: MYTHS AND REALITIES Solanum: The Virus Source. . . Symptoms. . . Transference . . . Cross-Species Infection. . . Treatment . . . Reanimating the Already Deceased Zombie Attributes Physical Abilities. . . Behavioral Patterns The Voodoo Zombie 19 The Hollywood Zombie 22 Outbreaks 23 Class 1 . . . Class 2 . . . Class 3 . . . Class 4 Detection WEAPONS AND COMBAT TECHNIQUES 28 GENERAL RULES 29 Obey the Law!. . . Train Constantly. . . Care for Your Tools. . . Beware Display Items. . . Develop the First Weapon Close Combat Bludgeons. . . Edged Weapons. . . Miscellaneous Hand Weapons. . . Power Tools- Slings and Arrows 38 The Sling. . . The Slingshot. . . The Blowgun. . . Shuriken . . . Throwing Knives. . . The Long or Compact Bow. . . The Crossbow. . . The Hand Bow vili Contents Firearms 41 The Heavy Machine Gun. . . The Submachine Gun. The Assault Rife. . . The Bolt-/Lever-Action Rife . . . The Semiautomatic Rife. . . The Shotgun. . . The Pistol. . . . .22-Caliber Rimfire Weapons. . .Accessories Explosives 51 Fire 51 Molotov Cocktails . . . Dousing . . . The Blowtorch. . . The Flamethrower Other Weapons 54 Acid. . . Poison. . . Biological Warfare. . . Zoological Warfare. . . Electrocution. . . Radiation. . . Genetic Warfare. . . Nanotherapy Armor 58 Plate Mail. . . Chain Mail. . . The Shark Suit . . . Helmets. . . BulletproofVests. . . Kevlar Covers. . . light Clothes and Short Hair ON THE DEFENSE 64 The Private Residence (Defending Your Home) 65 Preparation Part I: The Home. . . Preparation Part Ei Supplies. . . Surviving an Attack. . . Immediate Defense Public Spaces 78 Office Buildings . . . Schools . . . Hospitals . . . Police Stations. . . Retail Stores . . . Supermarkets. . . Shopping Malls . . . Churches. . . Warehouses . . . Piers and Docks. . . Shipyards. . . Banks. . . Cemeteries. . . Capitols and City Halls GENERALRULES 86 The Fortress 87 Military Complexes. . . Prisons. . . Offshore Oil Rigs ON THE RUN 94 GENERAL RULES 95 One Goal. . . Establish a Destination. . . Gather Intelligence and Plan Your Journey . . . Get in Shape. . . Avoid Large Groups. . . Contents ix Train Your Group. . . Remain Mobile. . . Remain Invisible. . . Look and Listen. . . Sleep!. . . Refrain from Overt Signals. . . Avoid Urban Areas Equipment 101 Vehicles 103 The Sedan. . . The SUV , . . The Truck. . . The Bus. . . The Armored Car. . . The Motorcycle. . . Additional Motor- Vehicle Equipment. . . Alternate Road Transportation Terrain Types 109 Forest (Temperate/Tropical) . . . Plains. . . Fields . . . Hills. . . Swamp.. . Tundra. . . Desert.. . Urban Alternate Means of Transportation By Air. . . By Water GENERAL RULES 122 KnowYourWaterway. . . Stay in DeepWater. . . Don't Skimp on Supplies. . . Watch Your Anchor Line! ON THE ATTACK 124 GENERAL RULES 125 Collective Response . . . Keep Discipline. . . Be Alert . . . Use Guides. . . Have a Base, Have Support. . . Use Daylight. . . Plan Your Escape. . . Let Them Come to You . . . Knock!. . . Be Thorough. . . Maintain Communication. . . Kill and Listen. . . Dispose of All Bodies. . . Incendiary Control. . . Never Go Off Alone! Weapons and Gear 130 Transportation 132 Terrain Types 132 Forest.. . Plains. . . Fields. . . Tundra.. .Hills.. . Desert. . . Urban. . . Jungle.. . Swamp Strategies 138 Lure and Destroy. . . The Barricade. . . The Tower. . . Mobile Tower. . . The Cage. . . The Tank. . . The Stampede. . . Motorized Sweep. . . Airborne Sweep . . . The Firestorm. . . Underwater Battles x Contents LIVING IN AN UNDEAD WORLD 154 The Undead World 155 Starting Over 157 GENERAL RULES 159 Assemble a Group. . . Study, Study, Study!. . . Wean Yourself Off Luxury Items. . . Remain Vigilant. . . To the Ends of the Earth!. . . Know Your Location. . . Become an Expert. . . Plan Your Route. . . Plan B-C-D-E! . . . List Your Gear, Be Ready to Shop. . . Construct Defenses. . . Plan an Escape Route. . . Be on Guard. . . Remain Concealed. . . Remain Isolated Terrain Types 170 Desert. . . Mountains. . . Jungle. . . Temperate Forests. . . Tundra. . . Polar. . . Islands. . . Living by Sea Duration 178 Then What? 180 RECORDED ATTACKS 182 60,000 B.C., Katanda, Central Africa 182 3000 B.C., Hieraconpolis, Egypt 183 500 B.C., Africa 184 329 B.C., Afghanistan 185 212 B.C., China 186 121 AD, Famim Cocidi, Caledonia (Scotland) 186 140-41 AD, Thamugadi, Numidia (Algeria) 188 156 AD, Castra Regina, Germania (Southern Germany) 188 177 AD, Nameless Settlement Near Tolosa, Aqnitania (SW France) 189 700s AD, Frisia (Northern Holland) 189 850 AD, Unknown Province in Saxony (Northern Germany) Contents 1073 AD, Jerusalem 1253 AD, Fiskurhofn, Greenland 1281 AD, China 1523 AD, Oaxaca, Mexico 1554 AD, South America 1579 AD, The Central Pacific 1583 AD, Siberia 1587 AD, Roanoke Island, North Carolina 1611 AD, Edo, Japan 1690 AD, The Southern Atlantic 1762 AD, Castries, St Lucia, the Caribbean 1807 AD, Paris, France 1824 AD, Southern Africa 1839 AD, East Africa 1848 AD, Owl Creek Mountains, Wyoming 1852 AD, Chiapas, Mexico 1867 AD, The Indian Ocean 1882 AD, Piedmont, Oregon 1888 AD, Hayward, Washington 1893 AD, Fort Louis Philippe, French North Africa 1901 AD, Lu Shan, Formosa 1905 AD, Tabora, Tanganyika, German East Africa 1911 AD, Vitre, Louisiana 1913 AD, Paramaribo, Surinam 1923 AD, Colombo, Ceylon 1942 AD, The Central Pacific 1942-45 AD, Harbin, Japanese Puppet State of Manchukuo (Manchuria) xli Contents 1943 AD, French North Africa 222 1947 AD, Jarvie, British Columbia 223 1954 AD, Than Hoa, French Indochina 224 1957 AD, Mombasa, Kenya 225 1960 AD, Byelgoransk, Soviet Union 226 1962AD, UnidentifiedTown, Nevada 228 1968 AD, Eastern Laos 228 1971 AD, Nong'ona Valley, Rwanda 229 1975 AD, Al-Marq, Egypt 230 1979 AD, Sperry, Alabama 231 Oct. 1980 AD, Maricela, Brazil 232 Dec. 1980 AD, Juruti, Brazil 233 1984 AD, Cabrio, Arizona 233 1987 AD, Khotan, China 234 Dec. 1992 AD, Joshua Tree National Monument, California 235 Jan. 1993 AD, Downtown Los Angeles, California 236 Feb. 1993 AD, East Los Angeles, California 239 Mar. 1994 AD, San Pedro, California 240 Apr. 1994 AD, Santa Monica Bay, California 241 1996 AD, The Line of Control, Srinagar, India 242 1998 AD, ZabroYSt, Siberia 243 2001 AD, Sidi-Moussa, Morocco 245 2002 AD, St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands 246 Appendix: Outbreak Journal Acknowledgments 249 253 INTRODUCTION The dead walk among us. Zombies, ghouls — no matter what their label — these somnambulists are the greatest threat to humanity, other than humanity itself. To call them predators and us prey would he inac- curate. They are a plague, and the human race their host. The lucky victims are devoured, their bones scraped clean, their flesh consumed. Those not so fortunate join the ranks of their attackers, transformed into putrid, carnivorous monsters. Conventional warfare is useless against these creatures, as is conventional thought. The science of end- ing life, developed and perfected since the beginning of our existence, cannot protect us from an enemy that has no "life" to end. Does this mean the living dead are invincible? No. Can these creatures be stopped? Yes. Ignoranceis the undead's strongest ally, knowledge their deadliest enemy. That is why this book was written: to provide the knowledge necessary for survival against these subhuman beasts. Survival is the key word to remember — not victory, not conquest, just survival. This hook will not teach you to become a professional zombie hunter. Anyone wishing to devote their life to such a profes- sion must seek training elsewhere. This book was not written for the police, military, or any government agency. These organizations, if they choose to recognize and prepare for the threat, will have access to resources far beyond those of private citizens. It is for them that this xiv Introduction survival guide was written — private citizens, people with limited time and resources who nonetheless have refused to be victimized. Naturally, many other skills — wilderness survival, leadership, even basic first aid — will be necessary in any encounter with the living dead. These were not included in this work, as they can be found in conventional texts. Common sense will dictate what else should be studied to complement this manual. Subsequently, all subjects not directly related to the living dead have been omitted. From this book, you will learn to recognize your enemy, to choose the right weapons, about killing techniques, and about preparation and improvisation when on the defense, on the run, or on the attack. It will also discuss the possibility of a doomsday scenario, in which the liv- ing dead have replaced humanity as the planet's dominant species. Do not discount any section of this book as hypothetical drama. Every ounce of knowledge was accumulated by hard-won research and experience. Historical data, laboratory experiments, field research, and eyewitness accounts (including those of the author) have all served to create this work. Even the doomsday scenario is an extrapolation of true-life events. Many actual occurrences are chronicled in the chapter of recorded outbreaks. Studying them will prove that every lesson in this hook is rooted in historical fact. That said, knowledge is only part of the fight for survival. The rest must come from you. Personal choice, the will to live, must be para- mount when the dead begin to rise. Without it, nothing will protect you. On the last page of this book, ask yourself one question: What will you do — end your existence in passive acceptance, or stand up and shout, "I will not be their victim! I will survive!" The choice is yours. THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE THE UNDEAD: MYTHS AND REALITIES He comes from the grave, his body a home of worms and filth. No life in his eyes, no warmth of his skin, no beating of his breast. His soul, as empty and dark as the night sky. He laughs at the blade, spits at the arrow, for they will not harm his flesh. For eternity, he will walk the earth, smelling the sweet blood of the living, feasting upon the bones of the damned. Beware, for he is the living dead. ZOM-BZE: (Zom'be) n. also ZOM-BIES pi. /. An animated corpse that feeds on living human flesh. 2. A voodoo spell that raises the dead. 3. A Voodoo snake god. 4. One who moves or acts in a daze "like a zom- bie." [a word of West African origin] What is a zombie? How are they created? What are their strengths and weaknesses?What are their needs, their desires? Why are they hostile to humanity?Before discussing any survival techniques, you must first learn what you are trying to survive. We must begin by separating fact from fiction. The walking dead are neither a work of "black magic" nor any other supernatural force. —Obscure Hindu text, circa 1000 B.C.E. \ 2 Max Brooks SOLANUM: THE VIRUS Solanum works by traveling through the bloodstream, from the initial point of entry to the brain. Through means not yet fully understood, the virus uses the cells of the frontal lobe for replication, destroying them in the process. During this period, all bodily functions cease. By stopping the heart, the infected subject is rendered "dead." The brain, however, remains alive hut dormant, while the virus mutates its cells into a completely new organ. The most critical trait of this new organ is its independence from oxygen. By removing the need for this all- important resource, the undead brain can utilize, but is in no way dependent upon, the complex support mechanism of the human body. Once mutation is complete, this new organ reanimates the body into a form that bears little resemblance (physiologically speaking) to the original corpse. Some bodily functions remain constant, others oper- ate in a modified capacity, and the remainder shut down completely. This new organism is a zombie, a member of the living dead. 1. Source Unfortunately, extensive research has yet to find an isolated example of Solanum in nature. Water, air, and soil in all ecosystems, from all The Zombie Survival Guide 3 parts of the world, have turned up negative, as have their accompany- ing flora and fauna. At the time of this writing, the search continues. 2. Symptoms The timetable below outlines the process of an infected human (give or take several hours, depending on the individual). Hour 1: Pain anddiscoloration(brown-purpIe) of the infected area Immediate clotting of the wound (provided the infection came from a wound). Hour 5: Fever (99-103 degrees F), chills, slight dementia, vomiting, acute pain in the joints. Hour 8: Numbing of extremities and infected area, increased fever ( 1 03 - 1 06 degrees F), increased dementia, loss of muscular coordination. Hour 1 1 : Paralysis in the lower body, overall numbness, slowed heart rate. Hour 16: Coma. Hour 20: Heart stoppage. Zero brain activity Hour 23: Reanimation. 3. Transference Solanum is 100 percent communicable and 100 percent fatal. Fortunately for the human race, the virus is neither waterborne nor air- borne. Humans have never been known to contract the virus from ele- ments in nature. Infection can occur only through direct fluidic contact. A zombie bite, although by far the most recognizable means of transference, is by no means the only one. Humans have been infected by brushing their open wounds against those of a zombie or by being splattered by its remains after an explosion. Ingestion of infected flesh (provided the person has no open mouth sores), however, 4 Max Brooks results in permanent death rather than infection. Infected flesh has proven to be highly toxic. No information — historical, experimental, or otherwise — has sur- faced regarding the results of sexual relations with an undead speci- men, but as previously noted, the nature of Solanum suggests a high danger of infection. Warning against such an act would be useless, as the only people deranged enough to try would he unconcerned for their own safety. Many have argued that, given the congealed nature of undead bodily fluids, the chances of infection from a non-bite contact should be low. However, it must be remembered that even one organ- ism is enough to begin the cycle. 4. Cross-Species Infection Solanum is fatal to all living creatures, regardless of size, species, or ecosystem. Reanimation, however, takes place only in humans. Studies have shown that Solanum infecting a non-human brain will die within hours of the death of its host, making the carcass safe to handle. Infected animals expire before the virus can replicate throughout their bodies. Infection from insect bites such as from mosquitoes can also he discounted. Experiments have proven that all parasitic insects can sense and will reject an infected host 100 percent of the time. 5. Treatment Once a human is infected, little can be done to save him or her. Because Solanum is a virus and not a bacteria, antibiotics have no effect. Immunization, the only way to combat a virus, is equally useless, as even The Zombie Survival Guide 5 the most minute dosage will lead to a full-blown infection. Genetic research is under way. Goals range from stronger human antibodies to resistant cell structure to a counter- virus designed to identify and destroy Solanum. This and other, more radical treatments are still in the earliest stages, with no foreseeable success in the near future. Battlefield expe- riences have led to the immediate severing of the infected limb (provided this is the location of the bite), but such treatments are dubious at best, with less than a 1 0 percent success rate. Chances are, the infected human was doomed from the moment the virus entered his or her system. Should the infected human choose suicide, he should remember that the brain must be eliminated first. Cases have been recorded in which recently infected subjects, deceased by means other than the virus, will nonetheless reanimate. Such cases usually occur when the subject expires after the fifth hour of infection. Regardless, any person killed after being bitten or otherwise infected by the undead should be imme- diately disposed of. (See "Disposal," page 19.) 6. Reanimatingthe Already Deceased It has been suggested that fresh human corpses could reanimate if Solanum were introduced after their demise. This is a fallacy. Zombies ignore necrotic flesh and therefore could not transfer the virus. Experiments conducted during and after World War II (see "Recorded Attacks," pages 216ff) have proven that injecting Solanum into a cadaver would be futile because a stagnant bloodstream could not transport the virus to the brain. Injection directly into a dead brain would be equally useless, as the expired cells could not respond to the virus. Solanum does not create life — it alters it. ZOMBIE ATTRIBUTES 1. Physical Abilities Too often, the undead have been said to possess superhuman powers: unusual strength, lightning speed, telepathy, etc. Stories range from 6 Max Brooks zombies flying through the air to their scaling vertical surfaces like spi- ders. While these traits might make for fascinating drama, the individ- ual ghoul is far from a magical, omnipotent demon. Never forget that the body of the undead is, for all practical purposes, human. What changes do occur are in the way this new, reanimated body is used by the now-infected brain. There is no way a zombie could fly unless the human it used to be could fly. The same goes for projecting force fields, telepottation, moving through solid objects, transforming into a wolf, breathing fire, or a variety of other mystical talents attributed to the walking dead. Imagine the human body as a tool kit. The som- nambulist brain has those tools, and only those tools, at its disposal. It cannot create new ones out of thin air. But it can, as you will see, use these tools in unconventional combinations, or push their durability beyond normal human limits. A. Sight The eyes of a zombie are no different than those of a normal human. While still capable (given their rate of decomposition) of transmitting visual signals to the brain, how the brain interprets these signals is another matter. Studies are inconclusive regarding the undead's visual abilities. They can spot prey at distances comparable to a human, but whether they can distinguish a human from one of their own is still up for debate. One theory suggests that the movements made by humans, which are quicker and smoother than those of the undead, is what causes them to stand out to the zombie eye. Experiments have been done in which humans have attempted to confuse approaching ghouls by mimicking their motions and adopting a shambling, awkward limp. The Zombie Survival Guide 7 To date, none of these attempts have succeeded. It has been suggested that zombies possess night vision, a fact that explains their skill at noc- turnal hunting. This theory has been debunked by the fact that all zom- bies are expert night feeders, even those without eyes. B. Sound There is no question that zombies have excellent hearing. Not only can they detect sound — they can determine its direction. The basic range appears to be the same as that for humans. Experiments with extreme high and low frequencies have yielded negative results. Tests have also shown that zombies are attracted by any sounds, not just those made by living creatures. It has been recorded that ghouls will notice sounds ignored by living humans. The most likely, if unproven, explanation is that zombies depend on all their senses equally. Humans are sight- oriented from birth, depending on other senses only if the primary one is lost. Perhaps this is not a handicap shared by the walking dead. If so, it would explain their ability to hunt, fight, and feed in total dark- ness. Unlike with sound, the undead have a more acute sense of smell. In both combat situations and laboratory tests, they have been able to dis- tinguish the smell of living prey above all others. In many cases, and given ideal wind conditions, zomhies have been known to smell fresh corpses from a distance of more than a mile. Again, this does not mean C. Smell 8 Max Brooks that ghouls have a greater sense of smell than humans, simply that they rely on it more. It is not known exactly what particular secretion sig- nals the presence of prey: sweat, pheromones, blood, etc. In the past, people seeking to move undetected through infested areas have attempted to "mask" their human scent with perfumes, deodorants, or other strong-smelling chemicals. None were successful. Experiments are now under way to synthesize the smells of living creatures as a decoy or even repellent to the walking dead. A successful product is still years away. Little is known about the altered taste buds of the walking dead. Zombies do have the ability to tell human flesh apart from that of ani- mals, and they prefer the former. Ghouls also have a remarkable abil- ity to reject carrion in favor of freshly killed meat. A human body that has been dead longer than twelve to eighteen hours will be rejected as food. The same goes for cadavers that have been embalmed or other- wise preserved. Whether this has anything to do with "taste" is not yet certain. It may have to do with smell or, perhaps, another instinct that has not been discovered. As to exactly why human flesh is preferable, D. Taste The Zombie Survival Guide 9 science has yet to find an answer to this confounding, frustrating, ter- rifying question. E. Touch Zombies have, literally, no physical sensations. All nerve receptors throughout the body remain dead after reanimation. This is truly their greatest and most terrifying advantage over the living. We, as humans, have the ability to experience physical pain as a signal of bodily dam- age. Our brain classifies such sensations, matches them to the experi- ence that instigated them, and then files the information away for use as a warning against future harm. It is this gift of physiology and instinct that has allowed us to survive as a species. It is why we value virtues such as courage, which inspires people to perform actions despite warnings of danger. The inability to recognize and avoid pain is what makes the walking dead so formidable. Wounds will not be noticed and, therefore, will not deter an attack. Even if a zombie's body is severely damaged, it will continue to attack until nothing remains. F. Sixth Sense Historical research, coupled with laboratory and field observation, have shown that the walking dead have been known to attack even when all their sensory organs have been damaged or completely decomposed. Does this mean that zombies possess a sixth sense? Perhaps. Living humans use less than 5 percent of their brain capacity. It is possible that the virus can stimulate another sensory ability that has been forgotten by evolution. This theory is one of the most hotly debated in the war against the undead. So far, no scientific evidence has been found to support either side. G. Healing Despite legends and ancient folklore, undead physiology has been proven to possess no powers of regeneration. Cells that are damaged stay damaged. Any wounds, no matter what their size and nature, will 10 Max Brooks remain for the duration of that body's reanimation. A variety of med- ical treatments have been attempted to stimulate the healing process in captured ghouls. None were successful. This inability to self -repair, something that we as living beings take for granted, is a severe disad- vantage to the undead. For example, every time we physically exert ourselves, we tear our muscles. With time, these muscles rebuild to a stronger state than before. A ghoul's muscle mass will remain dam- aged, reducing its effectiveness every time it is used. H. Decomposition The average zombie "life span" — how long it is able to function before completely rotting away — is estimated at three to five years. As fan- tastic as this sounds — a human corpse able to ward off the natural effects of decay — its cause is rooted in basic biology. When a human body dies, its flesh is immediately set upon by billions of microscopic organisms. These organisms were always present, in the external envi- ronment and within the body itself. In life, the immune system stood as a harrier between these organisms and their target. In death, that bar- rier is removed. The organisms begin multiplying exponentially as they proceed to eat and, thereby, break down the corpse on a cellular level. The smell and discoloration associated with any decaying meat are the biological process of these microbes at work. When you order an "aged" steak, you are ordering a piece of meat that has begun to rot, its formerly toughened flesh softened by microorganisms breaking down its sturdy fiber. Within a short time, that steak, like a human corpse, will dissolve to nothing, leaving behind only material too hard or innutritious for any microbe, such as hone, teeth, nails, and hair. This is the normal cycle of life, nature's way of recycling nutrients back into the food chain. To halt this process, and preserve dead tis- sue, it is necessary to place it in an environment unsuitable for bacte- ria, such as in extreme low or high temperatures, in toxic chemicals such as formaldehyde, or, in this case, to saturate it with Solanum. Almost all the microbe species involved in normal human decom- position have repeatedly rejected flesh infected by the virus, effec- The Zombie Survival Guide 1 1 tively embalming the zombie. Were this not the case, combating the living dead would be as easy as avoiding them for several weeks or even days until they rotted away to hones. Research has yet to discover the exact cause of this condition. It has been determined that at least some microbe species ignore the repelling effects of Solanum — other- wise, the undead would remain perfectly preserved forever. It has also been determined that natural conditions such as moisture and temper- ature play an important role as well. Undead that prowl the bayous of Louisiana are unlikely to last as long as those in the cold, dry Gobi desert. Extreme situations, such as deep freezing or immersion in preservative fluid, could, hypothetically, allow an undead specimen to exist indefinitely. These techniques have been known to allow zombies to function for decades, if not centuries. (See "Recorded Attacks," pages 193ff.) Decomposition does not mean that a member of the walking dead will simply drop. Decay may affect various parts of the body at different times. Specimens have been found with brains intact but nearly disintegrated bodies. Others with partially rotted brains may control some bodily functions but be completely paralyzed in others. A popular theory has recently circulated that attempts to explain the story of the ancient Egyptian mummy as one of the first examples of an embalmed zombie. The preservation techniques allowed it to func- tion several thousand years after being entombed. Anyone with a rudi- mentary knowledge of ancient Egypt would find this story almost laughably untrue: The most important and complicated step in prepar- ing a pharaoh for burial was the removal of the brain! L Digestion Recent evidence has once and for all discounted the theory that human flesh is the fuel for the undead. A zombie's digestive tract is completely dormant. The complex system that processes food, extracts nutrition, and excretes waste does not factor into a zombie's physiology. Autopsies conducted on neutralized undead have shown that their "food" lies in its original, undigested state at all sections of the tract. This partially chewed, slowly rotting matter will continue to accumulate, as the zom- 12 Max Brooks hie devours more victims, until it is forced through the anus, or literally bursts through the stomach or intestinal lining. While this more dramatic example of non-digestion is rare, hundreds of eyewitness reports have confirmed undead to have distended bellies. One captured and dissected specimen was found to contain 211 pounds of flesh within its system! Even rarer accounts have confirmed that zombies continue to feed long after their digestive tracts have exploded from within. J. Respiration The lungs of the undead continue to function in that they draw air into and expel it from the hody. This function accounts for a zombie's sig- nature moan. What the lungs and body chemistry fail to accomplish, however, is to extract oxygen and remove carbon dioxide. Given that Solatium obviates the need for both of these functions, the entire human respiratory system is obsolete in the hody of a ghoul. This explains how the living dead can "walk underwater" or survive in envi- ronments lethal to humans. Their brains, as noted earlier, are oxygen- independent. K. Circulation It would be inaccurate to say that zomhies have no heart. It would not he inaccurate, however, to say that they find no use for it. The circula- tory system of the undead is little more than a network of useless tubes filled with congealed hlood. The same applies to the lymphatic system as well as all other bodily fluids. Although this mutation would appear to give the undead one more advantage over humanity, it has actually proved to he a godsend. The lack of fluid mass prevents easy trans- mission of the virus. Were this not true, hand-to-hand combat would he nearly impossible, as the defending human would almost certainly he splattered with hlood and/or other fluids. L. Reproduction Zombies are sterile creatures. Their sexual organs are necrotic and impotent. Attempts have been made to fertilize zombie eggs with The Zombie Survival Guide 13 human sperm and vice versa. None has been successful. The undead have also shown no signs of sexual desire, either for their own species or for the living. Until research can prove otherwise, human- ity's greatest fear — the dead reproducing the dead — is a comforting impossibility. M Strength Ghouls possess the same brute force as the living. What power can be exerted depends greatly on the individual zombie. What muscle mass a person has in life would be all he possesses in death. Unlike a living body, adrenal glands have not been known to function in the dead, denying zombies the temporary burst of power we humans enjoy. The one solid advantage the living dead do possess is amazing stamina. Imagine working out, or any other act of physical exertion. Chances are that pain and exhaustion will dictate your limits. These factors do not apply to the dead. They will continue an act, with the same dynamic energy, until the muscles supporting it literally disintegrate. While this makes for progressively weaker ghouls, it allows for an all- powerful first attack. Many barricades that would have exhausted three or even four physically fit humans have fallen to a single determined zombie. iV. Speed The "walking" dead tend to move at a slouch or limp. Even without injuries or advanced decomposition, their lack of coordination makes for an unsteady stride. Speed is mainly determined by leg length. Taller ghouls have longer strides than their shorter counterparts. Zombies appear to be incapable of running. The fastest have been observed to move at a rate of barely one step per 1.5 seconds. Again, as with strength, the dead's advantage over the living is their tirelessness. Humans who believe they have outrun their undead pursuers might do well to remember the story of the tortoise and the hare, adding, of course, that in this instance the hare stands a good chance of being eaten alive. 14 Max Brooks O. Agility The average living human possesses a dexterity level 90 percent greater than the strongest ghoul. Some of this comes from the general stiffness of necrotic muscle tissue (hence their awkward stride). The rest is due to their primitive brain functions. Zomhies have little hand- eye coordination, one of their greatest weaknesses. No one has ever observed a zombie jumping, either from one spot to another or simply up and down. Balancing on a narrow surface is similarly beyond their ahility. Swimming is also a skill reserved for the living. The theory has been put forth that, if an undead corpse were to he bloated enough to rise to the surface, it could present a floating hazard. This is rare, how- ever, as the slow rate of decomposition would not allow by-product gas to accumulate. Zombies who walk or fall into bodies of water will more likely find themselves wandering aimlessly across the bottom until eventually dissolving. They can be successful climbers, but only in certain circumstances. If zombies perceive prey above them, for example, in the second story of a house, they will always attempt to climb to it. Zombies will try to scale any surface no matter how unfeasable or even impossible. In all but the easiest situations, these attempts have met with failure. Even in the case of ladders, when sim- ple hand-over-hand coordination is required, only one in four zombies will succeed. 2. Behavioral Patterns A. Intelligence It has been proven, time and again, that our greatest advantage over the undead is our ahility to think. The mental capacity of the average zom- bie ranks somewhere beneath that of an insect. On no occasion have they shown any ability to reason or employ logic. Attempting to accomplish a task, failing, then by trial and error discovering a new solution, is a skill shared by many members of the animal kingdom hut lost on the walking dead. Zombies have repeatedly failed laboratory intelligence tests set at the level of rodents. One field case showed a human standing at one end of a collapsed bridge with several dozen The Zombie Survival Guide 15 zombies on the other side. One by one, the walking dead tumbled over the edge in a futile attempt to reach him. At no time did any of them realize what was happening and change their tactics in any way. Contrary to myth and speculation, zombies have never been observed using tools of any kind. Even picking up a rock to use as a weapon is beyond their grasp. This simple task would prove the basic thought process involved in realizing that the rock is a more efficient weapon than the naked hand. Ironically, the age of artificial intelligence has enabled us to identify more easily with the mind of the zombie than that of our more "primitive" ancestors. With care exceptions, even the most advanced computers do not have the ability to think on their own. They do what they are programmed to do, nothing more. Imagine a computer programmed to execute one function. This function cannot be paused, modified, or erased. No new data can be stored. No new commands can he installed. This computer will perform that one func- tion, over and over, until its power source eventually shuts down. This is the zombie brain. An instinct-driven, unitask machine that is imper- vious to tampering and can only be destroyed. B. Emotions Feelings of any kind are not known to the walking dead. Every form of psychological warfare, from attempts at enraging the undead to pro- voking pity have all met with disaster. Joy, sadness, confidence, anxi- ety, love, hatred, fear — all of these feelings and thousands more that make up the human "heart" are as useless to the living dead as the organ of the same name. Who knows if this is humanity's greatest weakness or strength?The debate continues, and probably will forever. C. Memories A modem conceit is that a zombie retains the knowledge of its former life. We hear stories of the dead returning to their places of residence or work, operating familiar machinery, or even showing acts of mercy to loved ones. In trrtb, not a shred of proof exists to support this wish- ful thinking. Zombies could not possibly retain memories of their for- 16 Max Brooks mer lives in either the conscious or subconscious mind, because nei- ther exist! A ghoul will not be distracted by the family pet, living rel- atives, familiar surroundings, etc. No matter who a person was in his former life, that person is gone, replaced by a mindless automaton with no instinct other than for feeding. This begs the question: Why do zom- bies prefer urban areas to the countryside?First, the undead do not pre- fer cities, but simply remain where they are reanimated. Second, the main reason zomhies tend to stay in cities instead of fanning out into the countryside is because an urban zone holds the highest concentra- tion of prey. D. Physical Needs Other than hunger (discussed later), the dead have shown none of the physical wants or needs expressed in mortal life. Zombies have never been observed to sleep or rest under any circumstances. They have not reacted to extreme heat or cold. In harsh weather, they have never sought shelter. Even something as simple as thirst is unknown to the living dead. Defying all laws of science, Solanum has created what could be described as a completely self-sufficientorganism. E. Communication Zombies have no language skills. Although their vocal cords are capa- ble of speech, their brain is not. The only vocal ability appears to be a deep-throated moan. This moan is released when zombies identify prey. The sound will remain low and steady until physical contact is made. It will then shift in tone and volume as the zombie commences its attack. This eerie sound, so typically associated with the walking dead, serves as a rallying cry for other zombies and, as has been recently discovered, is a potent psychological weapon. (See "On the Defense," page 74.) F. Social Dynamics Theories have always proliferated that the undead function as a col- lective force, from an army controlled by Satan to an insect-like pheromone-driven hive to the most recent notion that they achieve The Zombie Survival Guide 17 group consensus by telepathy. The truth is that zombies have no social organization to speak of. There is no hierarchy, no chain of command, no drive toward any type of collectivization. A horde of the undead, regardless of size, regardless of appearance, is simply a mass of indi- viduals. If several hundred ghouls converge on a victim's location, it is because each one is drawn by its own instinct. Zombies appear to be unaware of one another. Individuals have never been observed to react to the sight of one another at any range. This goes back to the question of sense: How does a zombie distinguish between one of its own and a human or other prey at the same range? The answer has yet to he found. Zombies do avoid one another in the same way they avoid inan- imate objects. When they hump into one another, they make no attempt to connect or communicate. Zombies feasting on the same corpse will tug repeatedly on the meat in question rather than shove a competitor out of the way. The only suggestion of communal effort is seen in noto- rious swarm attacks: the moan of a ghoul calling others within earshot. Once they hear the wail, other walking dead will almost always con- verge on its source. An early study theorized that this was a deliberate act, that a scout used its moan to signal the others to attack. However, we now how that it happens purely by accident. The ghoul that moans at the detection of prey does so as an instinctive reaction, not as an alert. G. Hunting Zombies are migratory organisms, with no regard for territory or con- cept of home. They will travel miles and perhaps, given time, cross continents in their search for food. Their hunting pattern is random. Ghouls will feed at night and during the day. They will stumble through an area rather than deliberately searching it. Certain zones or structures will not he singled out as more likely to contain prey. For example, some have been known to search farmhouses and other rural structures while others in the same group have moved by without even a glance. Urban zones take more time to explore, which is why the undead remain longer in these areas, but no building will take prece- dence over another. Zombies appear to be totally unaware of their sur- 18 Max Brooks roundings. They do not, for example, move their eyes in a way that would take in the information of a new setting. Shuffling silently, with a thousand-yard stare, they will wander aimlessly, regardless of loca- tion, until prey is detected. As discussed earlier, the undead possess an uncanny ability to home in on a victim's precise location. Once con- tact is made, the previously silent, oblivious automaton transforms into something more closely related to a guided missile. The head turns immediately in the direction of its victim. The jaw drops, lips retract, and, from the depths of its diaphragm, comes the moan. Once contact is made, zombies cannot be distracted by any means. They will con- tinue to pursue their prey, stopping only if they lose contact, make a successful kill, or are destroyed. H. Motivation Why do the undead prey upon the living? If it has been proven that human flesh serves no nutritional purpose, why does their instinct drive them to murder?The truth eludes us. Modem science, combined with historical data, has shown that living humans are not the only delights on the undead menu. Rescue teams entering an infested area have consistently reported them stripped of all life. Any creatures, no matter what their size or species, will he consumed by an attacking zombie. Human flesh, however, will always he preferable to other life forms. One experiment presented a captured specimen with two iden- tical cubes of meat: one human, one animal. The zombie repeatedly chose the human. Reasons for this are still unknown. What can be con- firmed, beyond any shadow of doubt, is that instinct brought on by Solanum drives the undead to kill and devour any living creature they discover. There appear to be no exceptions. /. Killing the Dead While destroying a zombie may be simple, it is far from easy. As we have seen, zombies require none of the physiological functions that humans need to survive. Destruction or severe damage of the circula- tory, digestive, or respiratory system would do nothing to a member of The Zombie Survival Guide 19 the walking dead, as these functions no longer support the brain. Simply put, there are thousands of ways to kill a human — and only one to kill a zombie. The brain must be obliterated, by any means possible. /. Disposal Studies have shown that Solanum can still inhabit the body of a terminated zombie for up to forty-eight hours. Exercise extreme care when disposing of undead corpses. The head in particular possesses the most serious hazard, given its concentration of the virus. Never handle an undead corpse without protective clothing. Treat it as you would any toxic, highly lethal material. Cremation is the safest, most effective way of disposal. Despite rumors that a pile of burning corpses will spread Solannm in a cloud of smoking plague, common sense would dictate that any virus is unable to survive intense heat, to say nothing of an open flame. K. Domestication? To reiterate, the zombie brain has proved, so far, to he tamper-proof. Experiments ranging from chemicals to surgery to electromagnetic waves have yielded negative results. Behavioral modification therapy and other such attempts to train the living dead like some kind of pack animal have similarly met with failure. Again, the machine cannot be rewired. It will exist as is, or it will not exist at all. THE VOODOO ZOMBIE If zombies are the creation of a virus and not black magic, then how does this explain the so-called "voodoo zombie," a person who has died, 20 Max Brooks been raised from his grave, and is doomed to spend eternity as a slave of the living? Yes, it is true that the word "zombie" originally comes from the Kimbundu word "nzumbe," a term describing a dead person's soul, and yes, zombies and zombification are integral parts of the Afro- Caribbean religion known as voodoo. However, the origin of their name is the only similarity between the voodoo zombie and the viral zombie. Although it is said that voodoo houngans (priests) can turn humans into zombies by magical means, the practice is rooted in bard, undeniable science. "Zombie powder," the tool used by the houngan for zombifi- cation, contains a very powerful neurotoxin (the exact ingredients are a closely guarded secret). The toxin temporarily paralyzes the human nervous system, creating a state of extreme hibernation. With the heart, lungs, and all other bodily functions operating at minimal levels, it would be understandable if an inexperienced coroner declared the par- alyzed subject to be dead. Many humans have been buried while in such a state, only to awaken screaming in the pitch darkness of their coffin. So what makes this living human being a zombie? The answer is sim- ple: brain damage. Many who are buried alive quickly use up the air inside their coffins. Those that are recovered (if they are lucky) almost always suffer brain damage from lack of oxygen. These poor souls shamble about with little cognitive skills, or, indeed, free will, and are often mistaken for the living dead. How can yon distinguish a voodoo zombie from the genuine article? The telltale signs are obvious. 1. Voodoo zombies show emotion. People suffering from zombie powder- induced brain damage are still capable of all normal human feelings. They smile, cry, even growl with anger if hurt or otherwise provoked (something real zombies would never do). 2. Voodoo zombies exhibit thought. As has been stated before, when a real zombie encounters you it will immediately home in like a smart bomb. A voodoo zombie will take a moment to try to figure out who or what you are. Maybe it will come toward you, maybe it The Zombie Survival Guide 21 will recoil, maybe it will continue its observation as its damaged brain attempts to analyze the information given it. What a voodoo zombie will not do is raise its arms, drop its jaw, unleash a hellish moan, and stumble directly toward you. 3. Voodoo zombies feel pain. A voodoo zombie that trips and falls will undoubtedly hold its bruised knee and whimper. Likewise, one already suffering from some other wound will nurse it, or, at the very least, be aware of the wound's existence. Voodoo zombies will not ignore deep gashes in their bodies like a real zombie would. 4. Voodoo zombies recognize fire. This is not to say that they are afraid of open flames. Some that have suffered severe brain damage may not remember what fire is. They will stop to examine it, perhaps even reach out to touch it, hut they will recoil once they realize it causes pain. 5. Voodoo zombies recognize their surroundings. Unlike real zom- bies, who only recognize prey, voodoo zombies will react to sudden changes in light, sound, taste, and smell. Voodoo zombies have been observed watching television or brightly flashing lights, listening to music, cringing at thunder, and even taking notice of one another. This last fact has been critical in several cases of mis-identification. Had the zombies in question not reacted to each other (they looked at each other, made noises, even touched each other's faces), they might have been accidentally exterminated. 6. Voodoo zombies do NOT have hypersense. A human who has suf- fered the debilitating effects of zombie powder is still a sight- dependent human. He cannot operate perfectly in the dark, hear a footstep at 500 yards, or smell a living being on the wind. Voodoo zombies can actually be surprised by someone walking up behind them. This is not recommended, however, as a frightened zombie might react in anger. 22 Max Brooks 7. Voodoo zombies can communicate. While this is not always the case, many of these individuals can respond to audiovisual signals. Many understand words; some even comprehend simple sentences. Many voodoo zombies possess the ability to speak, simply, of course, and rarely for extended conversations. 8. Voodoo zombies can be controlled. While not always true, many brain damaged humans have lost much of their self-realization, making them very susceptible to suggestion. Simply shouting for a subject to halt or even go away can he enough to get rid of a voodoo zombie. This has created the dangerous situation of confused peo- ple believing they could control or train true zombies. Several times headstrong humans have insisted they could simply command their living dead attackers to stop. As cold, rotting hands grabbed their limbs and dirty, worn teeth bit into their flesh, these people discov- ered, too late, what they were truly dealing with. These guidelines should give you a good idea of how to tell a voodoo zombie from a true zombie. One final note: Voodoo zombies are almost always encountered in sub-Saharan Africa, the Caribbean, Central and South America, and the southern United States. Although it is not impossible to find someone who has been turned into a zombie by a houngan elsewhere, the chances of such an encounter are slim. THE HOLLYWOOD ZOMBIE Since the living dead first stepped onto the silver screen, their greatest enemy has not been hunters, but critics. Scholars, scientists, even con- cerned citizens have all argued that these movies depict the living dead in a fantastic, unrealistic fashion. Visually stunning weapons, physi- cally impossible action sequences, larger-than-life human characters, The Zombie Survival Guide 23 and, above all, magical, invincible, even comical ghouls have all added their colors to the controversial rainbow that is "the Zombie Movie." Further criticism argues that this "style over substance" approach to somnambulist cinema teaches human viewers lessons that may get them killed in a real encounter. These serious charges demand an equally serious defense. While some zombie movies are based on actual events*, their goal, indeed the goal of almost every movie in every genre, has always been, first and foremost, to entertain. Unless we are discussing pure documentaries (and even some of those are "sweetened"), moviemakers must take some artistic license to make their work more palatable to the audience. Even movies that are based on actual events will sacrifice pure reality for good storytelling. Certain characters will be an amalgam of real-life individuals. Others may be purely fictional in order to explain certain facts, facilitate the plotline, or simply add flavor to the scene. One might argue that the role of the artist is to challenge, educate, and enlighten her audience. That may be true, but try imparting knowledge to an audience who has either left or fallen asleep within the first ten minutes of the picture. Accept this basic rule of moviemaking and you will understand why Hollywood zombie films stray, in some cases wildly, from the reality on which they are based. In short, use these photo-plays as their mak- ers intended: as a source of temporary, lighthearted entertainment and not a visual aid to your survival. OUTBREAKS Although each zombie attack is different, given the number, terrain, reaction of the general populace, etc. , its level of intensity can be mea- sured in four distinct classes. *At the behest of the filmmakers and/or their estates, the titles of those movies based on me-life stories have been omitted. 24 Max Brooks Class 1 This is a low-level outbreak, usually in a Third World country or First World rural area. The number of zombies in this class of outbreak ranges between one and twenty. Total human casualties (including those infected) range from one to fifty. The total duration, from the case to the last (known), will range between twenty-four hours and fourteen days. The infested area will be small, no larger than a twenty- mile radius. In many cases, natural boundaries will determine its lim- its. Response will he light, either exclusively civilian or with some additional help from local law enforcement. Media coverage will be light, if present at all. If the media is present, look for common stories like homicides or "accidents." This is the most common type of out- break and also the easiest to go unnoticed. Class 2 Urban or densely populatedrural areas are included in this level of out- break. Total zombies will range between twenty and one hundred. Total human casualties may reach as high as several hundred. The duration of a Class 2 attack may last no longer than a Class 1 outbreak. In some cases, the larger number of zombies will spark a more imme- diate response. A rural, sparsely populated outbreak may extend to a hundred-mile radius, while an urban outbreak may encompass only several blocks. Suppression will almost certainly be organized. Bands of civilians will be replaced by local, state, even federal law enforce- ment. Look for an additional, if low-level, military response, the National Guard in the United States or its equivalent abroad. Most The Zombie Survival Guide 25 often, so as to ease panic, these units will take a more noncombatant role, providing medical assistance, crowd control, and logistical sup- port. Class 2 outbreaks almost always attract the press. Unless the attack occurs in a truly isolated area of the world, or one where the media is strictly controlled, the story will he reported. This does not mean, however, that it will be reported accurately. Class 3 A hue crisis. Class 3 outbreaks, more than any other, demonstrate the clear threat posed by the living dead. Zombies will number in the thou- sands, encompassing an area of several hundred miles. The duration of the attack and a possible lengthy mop-up process could last as long as several months. There will be no chance for a press blackout or cover- up. Even without media attention, the sheer magnitude of the attack will leave too many eyewitnesses. This is a full-blown battle, with law enforcement replaced by units of the regular military. A state of emer- gency will be declared for the infested zone, as well as the neighboring areas. Expect martial law, restricted travel, rationed supplies, federal- ized services, and strictly monitored communication. All these mea- sures, however, will take time to implement. The initial phase will be one of chaos as those in power come to grips with the crisis. Riots, loot- ing, and widespread panic will add to their difficulties, further delaying an effective response. While this is happening, those living within the infested area will be at the mercy of the undead. Isolated, abandoned, and surrounded by ghouls, they will have only themselves to depend on. Class 4 (See "Living in an Undead World," pages 154-81.) DETECTION Every undead outbreak, regardless of its class, has a beginning. Now that the enemy has been defined, the next step is early warning. 26 Max Brooks Knowing what a zombie is will not help if you are unable to recognize an outbreak before it's too late. This does not entail building a "zom- bie command post" in your basement, sticking pins in a map, and hud- dling around the shortwave radio. All it requires is looking for signs that would slip by the untrained mind. These signs include: 1 . Homicides in which the victims were executed by head shots or decapitation. It has happened many times: People recognize an out- break for what it is and try to take matters into their own hands. Almost always, these people are declared murderers by the local authorities and prosecuted as such. 2. Missing persons, particularly in wilderness or uninhabited areas. Pay careful attention if one or more of the search members end up missing. If the story is televised or photographed, watch to see what level of armament the search parties carry. Any more than one rifle per group could mean that this is more than just a simple rescue operation. 3. Cases of "violent insanity" in which the subject attacked friends or family without the use of weapons. Find out if the attacker bit or tried to bite his victims. If so, are any of the victims still in the hos- pital? Try to discover if any of these victims mysteriously died within days of their bite. 4. Riots or other civil disturbances that began without provocation or other logical cause. Common sense will dictate that violence on any group level does not simply occur without a catalyst such as racial tension, political actions, or legal decisions. Even so-called "mass hysteria" can always be traced to a root source. If none can be found, the answer may lie elsewhere. 5. Disease-based deaths in which either the cause is undetermined or seems highly suspect. Deaths from infectious disease are rare in the The Zombie Survival Guide 27 industrialized world, compared to a century ago. For this reason, new outbreaks always make the news. Look for those cases in which the exact nature of the disease is unexplained. Also, be on the alert for suspicious explanations such as West Nile virus or "mad cow" disease. Either could be examples of a cover-up. 6. Any of the above in which media coverage was forbidden. A total press blackout is rare in the United States. The occurrence of one should be regarded as an immediate red flag. Of course, there may be many reasons other than an attack of the living dead. Then again, any event causing a government as media-conscious as our own to clamp down merits close attention. The truth, no matter what it is, cannot be good. Once an event has tripped your sensors, keep track of it. Note the location, and its distance from you. Watch for similar incidents around or near the original site. If, within a few days or weeks, these incidents do occur, study them carefully. Note the response of law enforcement and other government agencies. If they react more forcefully with each occurrence, chances are that an outbreak is unfolding. The Zombie Survival Guide 29 GENERAL RULES: 1. OBEY THE LAW!: Regulations governing weapons such as firearms and explosives depend on your location. Follow them to the letter. Punishment may range from a sizable fine to incarcera- tion. In any case, the resulting criminal record is something you cannot afford.'When the dead rise, law enforcement must look upon you as a model citizen, someone to be trusted and left alone, not a felon of questionable background who should be interrogated at the first sign of trouble. Fortunately, as this chapter will show, simpler, legal weapons will serve you much better than paramilitary death machines. 2. TRAIN CONSTANTLY: No matter what weapon you choose, from a simple machete to a semiautomatic rifle, it must become an extension of your body. Practice as often as possible. If classes are available, by all means sign up. Learning from qualified instructors will save immense time and energy. If the device can he disassem- bled, do so, both in sunlight and total darkness until you know every pin, every spring, every curve and edge of that all-important machine. With practice will come both experience and confidence, two traits you must develop in order to successfully do battle with the living dead. History has proven that a well-trained individual, with nothing but a rock, has a better chance of survival than a novice with the latest technological marvel. 30 Max Brooks 3. CARE FOR YOUR TOOLS: Weapons, no matter how simple they may be, must he cared for as if they were living things. Anyone with firearm experience knows that inspection and cleaning are part of everyday use. This also applies to close-combat weapons. Blades need polish and rust protection. Grips need checking and mainte- nance. Never abuse your tools or expose them to unnecessary dam- age. If possible, have them tested regularly by experienced professionals. These experts may detect early-stage defects imper- ceptible to the amateur user. 4. BEWARE DISPLAY ITEMS: Many companies offer a variety of replica weapons, such as swords, bows, etc., that are meant merely for decoration. Always research your chosen item thoroughly and ensure that it is intended for actual use in the real world. Do not rely solely on the company's word. "Battle ready" may mean the item could withstand a few blows on a theatrical stage, or at some his- torical fair, but it will snap in half during a life-or-death confronta- tion. If resources permit, purchase a duplicate item and train with it to the breaking point. Only then should you trust in its abilities. 5. DEVELOPTHE FIRST WEAPON: The human body, if cared for and trained properly, is the greatest weapon on earth. Americans are notorious for their bad diet, lack of exercise, and relentless fetish for labor-saving technology. As recognizable as the term "couch potato" is, a more accurate term would be "cattle": fat, lazy, listless, and ready to he eaten. Weapon No. 1, the biological tool that is our body, can and must be transformed from prey to predator. Obey a strict diet and physical-fitness regimen. Concentrate on cardiovas- cular instead of strength-building exercise. Monitor any chronic health conditions you may have, no matter how small. Even if your worst ailment is allergies, treat them regularly! When a situation does arise, you must know exactly what your body is capable of! Study and master at least one martial art. Make sure its emphasis is on escaping holds rather than delivering blows. Knowing how to The Zombie Survival Guide 31 slip from a zombie's clutches is the single most important skill yon can possess when yon find yourself in close combat. CLOSE COMBAT Hand-to-handcombat should almost always be avoided. Given a zom- bie's lack of speed, it is much easier to run (or walk quickly) than stand and fight. However, it may be necessary to destroy a zombie at close quarters. When this happens, split-second timing is critical. A wrong move, a moment's hesitation, and you may feel cold hands gripping your arm, or sharp, broken teeth biting into your flesh. For this reason above all, choosing a close-combat weapon is more important than any other in this section. 1. Bludgeons When using a blunt weapon, the goal is to crush the brain (remember, the only way to kill a zombie is by destroying its brain). This is not as easy as it sounds. The human skull is one of the hardest, most durable 32 Max Brooks surfaces in nature. So, of course, is the zombie's. Extreme force is needed to fracture, let alone shat- ter it. However, this must be done, and done with a single, well-placed blow. Missing your target or failing to breach the bone will leave you with no second chance. Sticks, ax handles, and other wooden clubs are good for knocking a zombie out of the way or beat- ing off an individual attack. What they lack is the weight and strength necessary for a lethal strike. A section of lead pipe will work for a single encounter but is too heavy for those on the move. A sledgehammer has the same drawback and also requires practice for its user to hit a mov- ing target. Aluminum bats are light enough to work for one, maybe two fights, but are known to bend after prolonged use. The standard, one-handed car- penter's hammer has striking power but severely limited reach. Its short handle allows a zombie to grab your arm and pull it in. The police baton, made of acetate plastic (in most cases), is enough for any battle but lacks the lethal power for a one-blow kill. (Note: This was intended in its design.) The best bludgeon is a steel crowbar. Its relatively lightweight and durable construction makes it ideal for prolonged close combat. Its curved, semi- sharpened edge also allows for a stabbing motion through the eye socket, directly into the brain case. More than one survivor has reported killing zombies in this manner. Another benefit of the crowbar is that it may he necessary to pry open a door, shift a heavy object, or perform other tasks for which it was origi- nally designed. None of these functions can be accomplished with any of the previously mentioned items. Even lighter and more durable than the steel crowbar is the titanium model, The Zombie Survival Guide 33 now trickling into Western markets from Eastern Europe and the for- mer Soviet Union. 2. Edged Weapons Blades, in any form, have advantages and disadvantages over bludgeons. Those hat have enough strength to 1 i t the skull rarely stand up after many repeti- tions. For this reason, slicing, particu- larly decapitation, serves almost the same function as a head blow. (Note: The severed head of a zombie is still able to bite and must be regarded as a threat.) The advantage of slicing over bludgeon- ing is that it can make killing a zombie unnecessary. In some cases, simply chopping off a limb or severing the spine is enough to disable an undead assailant. (Note: Severing a limb also brings the possibility of contact with the virus through the exposed area.) The civilian ax can easily crnsh a zombie's skull, smashing through bone and brain in one swing. Decapitation is equally easy, which is why the ax has been the favored tool of executioners for centuries. Connecting with a moving head, however, might be difficult. Furthermore, if the swing ends in a total miss, you might be taken off balance. The smaller, one-handed hatchet is a good weapon of last resort. If you find yourself cornered, and larger weapons are useless, a hatchet blow will more than take care of an attacker. The sword is the ideal edged weapon, but not every kind will suf- fice. Foils, rapiers, and similar fencing weapons are not suited for slic- ing. Their only possible use would be a direct stab through the eye socket followed by a quick swirling action through the brain. This motion, however, has been accomplished only once, by a trained swordsman, and is therefore not recommended. Single-handed long swords allow you a free hand for other tasks 34 Max Brooks such as opening a door or defending your body with a shield. Their only drawback is the lack of swinging power. One arm may not have the strength to slice through the thick cartilage between bones. Another drawback is its user's notorious lack of accuracy. Scoring a flesh wound anywhere on the body of a living opponent is one thing. Making an exact, clean chop through the neck is something else alto- gether. Double-handed swords could be considered the best in their class, providing the strength and accuracy for perfect decapitation. Of this type, the Japanese Samurai Katana ranks first. Its weight (three to five pounds) is perfect for long-term conflicts, and its blade can sever the toughest organic fiber. In tight quarters, shorter blades hold the advantage. The Roman Gladius is one choice, although combat-readyreplicas are hard to find. The Japanese Ninjite boasts a two-handed grip and, in genuine mod- els, renowned tempered steel. Both factors make it a superior weapon. The common machete, because of its size, weight, and availability, is probably your best choice. If possible, fmd the military type usually sold at Army surplus stores. Its steel tends to be of a higher quality, and its blackened blade helps concealment at night. 3. Miscellaneous Hand Weapons Spears, pikes, and tridents serve to skewer a zombie, keeping it out of reach but not necessarily scoring a kill. The chance of an eye-socket Stab is possible, hut remote. The medieval European halberd (an ax- spear hybrid) may serve as a chopping weapon but, again, requires great amounts of skill and practice to accomplish a decapitating blow. Other than using them as bludgeons, or keeping your attacker at a dis- tance, these weapons serve little purpose. Morning stars or "flails," a spiked ball chained to a rod, do basically the same damage as a crowbar, albeit in a more dramatic way. The owner swings the rod in a wide, circular motion, providing enough momentum to bring the hall crashing through the skull of his or her The Zombie Survival Guide 35 opponent. Using this weapon takes considerable skill, and it is there- fore not recommended. The medieval European mace serves the same function as the stan- dard household hammer but without benefit of the latter's practical uses. A mace cannot pry open a door or window, drive a chisel, or ham- mer a nail. Attempting such an act could result in accidental injury. Therefore, carry this medieval weapon only when no alternative is available. Knives are always useful, serving a variety of functions in a range of situations. Unlike a hatchet, they can kill a zombie only when the blade is stabbed through the temple, eye socket, or base of the skull. On the flip side, knives almost always weigh less than hatchets and, therefore, are better if you are on the move. When choosing a knife, make sure the blade is no more than six inches long and always smooth. Avoid serrated knives and saw-blade combinations found in survival knives, as they tend to become lodged in their victims. Imagine yourself stabbing one zombie through the temple and turning to engage the other three ghouls but not being able to retrieve your blade. The trench spike is, without a doubt, the best compact anti-zombie weapon on earth. It is a combination of a seven-inch steel spike for a blade and brass knuckles for a handle. It was developed during the vicious hand-to-hand combat of World War I, where soldiers killed each other in trenches no wider than a few feet. Specifically, it was designed to stab downward, through an enemy's steel helmet. Yon can imagine how effective this weapon would be against a zombie. The user could stab easily through a zombie's skull, withdraw cleanly and quickly, then turn to either brain another zombie or, at the very least, knock one over with a brass-knuckle punch to the face. Original mod- els are extremely rare, with barely a few remaining in museums and the homes of private collectors. However, if accurate, detailed schematics can be found, have one or perhaps two combat-ready, stress-tested replicas made. They will be an investment you will never regret. 36 Max Brooks The Shaolin Spade This weapon bears special mention in the anti-ghoul arsenal. It may appear unconventional: a six-foot hardwood staff with a flat, bell- shaped blade on one end and an outward-facing crescent blade on the other. Its roots date hack to a bronze-bladed agricultural tool used dur- ing the Chinese Shang Dynasty (1766-1 122 B.C.E.). When Buddhism migrated to China, the spade was adopted by Shaolin monks as both tool and weapon. On several occasions, it has proven to be surprisingly effective against the living dead. Thrusting forward with either blade will produce instant decapitation, while its length provides complete safety for the user. This length does make it impractical for indoor combat, and it should therefore be avoided in those situations. In open spaces, however, nothing combines the safety of a spear with the killing power of a katana sword like the Shaolin spade. A variety of other hand weapons exist around the world, and space does not permit the author to discuss each one individually. If you dis- cover an implement or tool that you think might make a good weapon, ask yourself these questions: 1. Can it crush a skull in one blow? 2. If not, can it decapitate in said blow? 3. Is it easy to handle? 4. Is it light? 5. Is it durable? Questions 3, 4, and 5 will have to depend on your present situation. Questions 1 and 2 are essential ! The Zombie Survival Guide 37 4. Power Tools Popular fiction has shown us the awesome, brutal power of the chain- saw. Its lightning-quick, rotating teeth can easily slice through flesh and bone, making the strength and skill required for manual weapons unnecessary. Its roar might also give the owner a much-needed psy- chological boost — empowerment in a situation where abject terror is a given. How many horror movies have you seen in which this indus- trial killing machine has spelled doom for anyone and anything it touched? In reality, however, chainsaws and similar powered devices rank extremely low on the list of practical zombie-killingweapons. For starters, their fuel supply is finite. Once drained, they provide as much protection as a hand-held stereo. Carrying extra fuel or power cells leads to the second inherent problem: weight. The average chainsaw weighs ten pounds, compared to a two-pound machete. Why increase the chances of exhaustion? Safety must also be considered. One slip, and the spinning teeth might be slicing through your skull just as eas- ily as your enemy's. Like any machine, another problem is noise. A 38 Max Brooks chainsaw's distinctive roar, even if running for just a few seconds, will be enough to broadcast to every zombie within earshot, "Dinner is served!" SLINGS AND ARROWS It is a commonly held notion that using non-firearm ballistics such as bows and slingshots are a waste of energy and resources. In most cases, this is true. However, if used properly, such a weapon will enable you to score a kill at long range with little or no sound. What if you're attempting to escape an infested area, yon turn a comer, and a single ghoul blocks your path? It's too far away for a hand weapon. Before you get close, its moans will betray your position. The crack of a firearm will sound an even louder alarm. What do you do? In cases like these, certain silent weapons may be your only option. 1. The Sling Made famous from the biblical story of David and Goliath, this weapon has been part of our heritage since prehistoric times. The user places a smooth, round stone in the wider center of a thin leather strip, grabs both ends, swings it repeatedly in a rapid circle, then releases one end of the strip, loosing the stone at his target. Theoretically, it is possible to dispatch a zombie with a silent headshot at just under thirty paces. However, even with months of training, the chances of scoring such a hit are one in ten at best. With no experience, the wielder would be better off just throwing stones. 2. The Slingshot A descendant of the leather strap, the modem slingshot has at least ten times the accuracy of its ancestor, the sling. What it lacks is punch. Small projectiles fired from a modem slingshot simply do not have the force, even at minimum range, to penetrate a zombie's skull. Using this weapon might serve only to alert a ghoul to your presence. The Zombie Survival Guide 39 3. THE BLOWGUN Given that poison has no effect on the undead, discount this weapon entirely. 4. Shurhcen These small, multipoint devices were used in feudal Japan to pierce a human skull. In appearance they resemble a steel, two-dimensional replica of a shining star, hence their nickname, "throwing stars." In expert hands, they could easily bring down a zombie. However, as with many weapons discussed, the throwing star requires great expertise. Unless you are one of the few masters of this art (only a handful can still claim this title), refrain from such an exotic method. 5. Throwing Knives As with shuriken, these short-range weapons require weeks of practice to hit something as large as a human body and months to hit something as small as a human head. Only a dedicated expert could even hope for a reliable zombie kill. The time and energy spent training could be much more productive if applied to a conventional weapon. Remember, you have a variety of skills to learn, and not all the time in the world to learn them. Don't waste those valuable hours attempting to master a third-rate weapon. 6. The Long or Compound Bow To be blunt, hitting a zombie through the head with an arrow is an extremely difficult feat. Even with compound bows and modem sights, only experienced archers have a chance of making a direct shot. The only practical use for this weapon is the delivery of incendiary arrows. For starting fires silently, at long distance, 40 Max Brooks nothing works better than a flaming arrow. This manner of attack can, and has, been used to set undead individuals on fue. The targeted zom- bie will not know enough to pull the mow from its body and might, given the right circumstances, bum other ghouls before succumbing to the flames. (See "Fire," pages 51-54, for appropriate use.) The power and accuracy of a modem crossbow can send a "bolt" (crossbow mow) clean through a zombie's skull at over a quarter mile. Small wonder it has been dubbed "the perfect silent killer." Marksmanship is important, hut no more so than with a rifle. Reloading requires time and strength, but this should he unnecessary. The crossbow is a sniper's weapon, not a crowd-stopper. Use only against one zombie. Any more, and you might find yourself grabbed and mauled before you have time to load another bolt. As for bolts, either triangular or bullet- shape will suffice. For increased accuracy, a 7. The Crossbow The Zombie Survival Guide 41 telescopic sight should be added. Unfortunately, the size and weight of any good crossbow will make it the primary weapon. Therefore, choose one only when the situation permits, such as traveling in a group, defending your home, or when no silenced firearms are avail- 8. The Hand Bow Smaller, one-handed crossbows can serve as a complement to your pri- mary weapon. Carrying one means that a compact, silent weapon will always be on band if needed. In comparison to the larger crossbow, hand bows have inferior accuracy, power, and range. Using one means getting closer to the target. This increases not only the danger but the risk of detection, which, in turn, negates the need for a silent weapon. Use the hand bow carefully, and sparingly. Of all the weapons discussed in this book, nothing is more important than your primary firearm. Keep it cleaned, keep it oiled, keep it loaded, keep it close. With a cool bead, steady band, and plenty of ammunition, one human is more than a match for an army of zombies. Choosing a firearm must be an exact science, with every variable considered. What is your primary goal: defense, attack, or flight? What outbreak class are you facing? How many people, if any, are in your able. FIREARMS 42 Max Brooks group? What environment is your battleground? Different firearms serve different functions. Almost none serve all. Selecting the perfect tools means dispelling conventional doctrines of warfare that have worked so well against our fellow humans. Sadly, we know all too well how to kill each other. Killing zombies — that's another story. 1. The Heavy Machine Gun Since World War I, this invention has revolutionized human conflict. Its mechanism allows a storm of lead to be discharged in seconds. These tactics may be invaluable on the human battlefield but are a feckless waste against the living dead. Remember, yon are going for a head shot: one bullet, precisely placed. As the machine gun is designed for saturation fire, it may take hundreds, even thousands of rounds for one, randomly lethal shot. Even aiming the machine gun as a rifle (a tactic used by U.S. special forces) is a losing proposition. Why hit a zombie with a well-aimed five-round burst when one well-aimed rifle shot produces the same result? In the 1970s, one school of thought favored the "scythe theory": If a machine gun is placed at the head level of an undead crowd, it could mow them down with one long burst. This argument has been debunked — ghouls, like the humans they used to be, are not all the same height. Even if some are destroyed, at least half will survive to close on your position. But what about the massive body damage caused by these weapons? Won't a machine gun have enough punch to rip a body in half, and doesn't that negate the need for a head shot? Yes and no. The standard 5. 5 6-millimeter round used by the U.S. Army SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon) does have the ability to snap a human spine, sever limbs, or yes, tear a zombie's form in two. This, however, does not mean a head shot is unnecessary. For one, the chance of dismembering a zombie is slight and therefore requires large amounts of ammunition. For another, unless the brain is destroyed, the zombie itself is still alive — crippled, yes, perhaps even immobile, but still alive. Why give yourself the unnecessary need of having to finish off a mass of writhing and potentially dangerous body parts? The Zombie Survival Guide 43 2. The Submachine Gun The problem presented by this weapon is similar to that of the heavy machine gun: ammo expended versus living dead dispatched. However, when fighting in tight quarters, the submachine gun finds its niche. The short barrel makes it easier to handle than a rifle, but the folding stock gives it much more support than a pistol. Always be sure to keep it on the single-shot setting. As we discussed, full auto is sim- ply a waste of ammo. Also, be sure to aim it from the shoulder. Shooting from the hip will produce nothing more than a loud noise and a clean miss. One disadvantage is poor accuracy at long range. Because the submachine gun was designed as a close-combat weapon, you will have to get much closer to a zombie than if you were carry- ing a rifle or assault weapon. This would normally not be a problem except that submachine guns, like all auto and semiautomatic weapons, have the possibility of jamming while in use. At short range, you may be putting yourself at unnecessary risk. This is the only rea- son to discount a submachine gun as your primary weapon. 3. The Assault Rifle This weapon was invented originally to bridge the gap between the rifle and submachine gun, offering both range and rapid fire. Wouldn't these traits make it ideal against the undead? Not really. Although range and accuracy are needed, rapid tire, as we've seen, is not. Even though an assault rifle can be set for semiautomatic, just like a sub- machine gun, the temptation to go full auto still exists, as it does with a submachine gun. When fighting for your life, it may simply be too easy to flip the switch to "rock 'n' roll," no matter how wasteful and useless this might be. If you do choose an assault rifle as your primary weapon, keep in mind the basic questions that apply to all firearms: What is its range? What is its accuracy? Is the appropriate ammunition readily available? How easy is it to clean and maintain? To answer some of these questions, it is best to examine two extreme examples. The U.S. Army M16A1 is considered by many to be the worst assault rifle ever invented. Its overcomplicated mecha- 44 Max Brooks nism is both difficult to clean and prone to jamming. Adjusting the sight, something that must be done every time a target shifts its range, requires the use of a nail, ballpoint pen, or similar device. What if you didn't have one, or lost it as several dozen zombies shambled steadily toward you? The delicate plastic stock of the M16A1 obviates bayo- net use, and by attempting to use it as such you would risk shattering the hollow, spring-loadedstock. This is a critical flaw. If you were con- fronted by multiple ghouls and your A 1 j ammed, you would be unable to use it as a last-ditch hand-to-hand weapon. In the 1960s, the (originally the AR-15) was designed for Air Force base security. For political reasons typical of the military-industrial complex (you buy my weapon, you get my vote and my campaign contribution), it was adopted as the principal infantry weapon for the U.S. Army. So poor was its early battle record that during the Vietnam War, communist guerrillas refused to take them from dead Americans. The newer M16A2, although somewhat of an improvement's still regarded as a second-class weapon. If given the choice, emulate the Vietcong and ignore the Ml 6 entirely. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Soviet AK-47 is consid- ered the best assault rifle ever made. Although heavier than the Ml 6 (10.58 pounds versus 7 pounds) and possessing a considerably harder kick, this weapon is famous for its rugged efficiency and sturdy con- struction. Its wide, spacious firing mechanism prevents jamming from dirt or sand. In hand-to-hand combat, you could either stab a zombie through the eye socket with the weapon's bayonet or use the solid, steel-backed wooden stock to smash through a zombie's skull. If imi- The Zombie Survival Guide 45 tation is the sincerest form of flattery, then several nations have cho- sen to flatter the AK with either direct copies (Chinese Type 56) or modified designs (Israeli Galil). Again, although the assault rifle is not ideal for defense against the living dead, a member of the AK-47 fam- ily will be your best bet. 4. The Bolt-/Lever-Action Rifle A product of the mid-nineteenth century, these weapons are often regarded as obsolete. Why use a hunting rifle when you can own a sub- machine gun? Such arrogance is simply unfounded, its roots based in techno-chauvinism and the absence of practical experience. A well- made, expertly used bolt- or lever-action rifle offers a defense against the living dead that is as good if not better than the latest military hard- ware. A rifle's single-shot capability forces the user to make each round count, increasing the chance of a hit. This feature also eliminates even the possibility of "rock 'n' rolling," and therefore preserving ammunition whether the user intends to or not. A third reason is the relative easiness to clean and operate a rifle, something that must not be overlooked. Hunting rifles are designed for a civilian market. Manufacturers know that if they are too complex, sales will plummet. A fourth and final reason is ready availability of ammunition. As there are more civilian gun shops than military armories in the United States (a pattern not shared by the rest of the world), yon will find it easier to obtain ammunition for a hunting rifle than an assault weapon or sub- machine gun. This will prove critical in any of the scenarios covered in the latter part of this manual. When choosing a bolt- or lever-action rifle, try to find an older, mil- itary version if possible. This does not mean that civilian models are inferior weapons — quite the opposite — but almost all military bolt- action rifles were designed for use in hand-to-handcombat. Make sure you take the time to study the use of a rifle for this purpose. Simply swinging it like a club would destroy any weapon, military and civil- ian alike. Manuals are available that explain how to use a rifle as a bludgeon. Even old war films can demonstrate how deadly these 46 Max Brooks weapons are without firing a shot. Examples of bolt-action military rifles are the U.S. Springfield, the British Lee Enfield, and the German Mauser Kar 98k. Many of these still exist, some in good working order. Before choosing, however, make sure the appropriate ammuni- tion is in ready supply. Having an impressive, bolt-action military rifle will do no good if the only rounds available fit civilian models. 5. The Semiautomatic Rifle Since its debut, this weapon has shown itself to be a superior zombie killer. Given the possibility of wasting ammunition (a round is expended every time the trigger is pulled), a fair amount of discipline is required. However, this option can be a blessing when engaging multiple targets. In one recorded instance, a trapped woman dispatched fifteen attacking zombies in twelve seconds! (See "1947 A.D., Jarvie, British Columbia," pages 223-24.) This story illustrates the potential of a semiautomaticrifle. For close combat or for people on the run, the semiautomatic carbine serves the same function as the larger model. Although possessing half the range, the carbine tends to be lighter and easier to carry, and uses smaller ammunition. Either type will serve you well, depending on the situation. When choosing a semiautomatic weapon, the World War II Ml Garand or Ml Carbine are, in many ways, superior to contemporary weapons. This may be surprising, but these older military weapons were designed to survive the greatest conflict in history. Not only did they meet this task admirably, but the Garand remained the U.S. Army's main rifle through the Korean con- flict, while the Carbine saw action up until the first years of Vietnam. Another advantage of the Ml Garand is its secondary role as a hand- to-hand weapon (in WWII, bayonet use was still considered a vital part of combat). Although no longer in production, many Garands still remain on the market with ammunition widely available. The h41 Carbine is, amazingly, still in production. Its light weight and short muzzle perfectly suit this weapon to indoor combat or long journeys on foot. Other, more modem choices include the Ruger Mini-30, Ruger Mini- 14, and the Chinese Type 56 (a copy of the Soviet SKS The Zombie Survival Guide 47 carbine, not to be confused with the assault rifle of the same name). If discipline can be maintained, you will not find a better weapon than the semiautomatic rifle. 6. The Shotgun At close range against human attackers, this weapon reigns supreme. Against the living dead, this is not entirely true. A good twelve-gauge shotgun can literally blow a zombie's head off. However, the longer the range, the greater the pellet dispersal pattern, and the lesser chance of skull penetration. A solid slug would have the same effect as a rifle, even at greater range (provided the barrel is long enough), but in that case, why not just use a rifle? What shotguns do possess is stopping power. The scattering shot acts as a solid wall, whereas a rifle bullet might pass clean through or miss the target altogether. If you are cor- nered, or on the run, and need time to escape, a good shotgun blast can send several zombies sprawling. The downside of a shotgun is that the large, twelve-gauge shells are bulky and therefore burdensome when traveling and leave less room for other equipment. This must be con- sidered if a long journey is required. 7. The Pistol Americans have a special relationship with handguns. They seem to appear in every movie, every TV show, every pop novel, every comic book. Our heroes have always carried them, from the Old West law- man to the gritty urban cop. Gangsters rap about them; liberals and conservatives fight over them. Parents shelter children from them and manufacturers make untold fortunes from them. Possibly more than the automobile, the handgun is synonymous with America. But how 48 Max Brooks useful is this cultural icon against a swarm of newly risen flesh-eaters? In truth, not very. Unlike our fictional heroes, the average person may have difficulty hitting anything, let alone something as small and mobile as a zombie's head. Throw in the obvious emotional strain of undead combat, and the possibility of a successful shot ranks one step above negotiating with your attacker. Studies have shown that of all wasted ballistic wounds — e.g., those that struck a zombie in a non- lethal way — 73 percent came from some type of handgun. A laser sight increases the odds of accurate aim hut does nothing to steady a shaky wrist. Where handguns do come in handy is in extreme circumstances. If yon are grabbed by a zombie, a pistol can be a life-saver. Pressing its muzzle against the undead temple and squeezing the trigger takes no skill and ensures a positive kill. The fact that handguns are small, light, and easy to carry make them attractive as a secondary weapon for any scenario. If your primary weapon is a carbine, this adds the possibility of shared ammo and lighter load. For these reasons, a pis- tol should always be carried when confronting ghouls, but as a backup only. Never forget that many dismembered, half-eaten corpses have been discovered with these wonder weapons still clutched in their cold, dead hands. 8. .22-Caliber Rtmfire Weapons These weapons (rifle or pistol) fire a round no wider than a few mil- limeters and no longer than an inch. In normal circumstances it is usu- ally relegated to practice, competition, or the hunting of small game. The Zombie Survival Guide 49 In an attack by the undead, however, the diminutive .22 rimfire stands proudly alongside its heavier cousins. The small size of its rounds allows you to carry three times as much ammunition. This also makes the weapon itself lighter, a godsend on long treks through ghoul- infested territory. The ammunition is also easy to manufacture and plentiful throughout the country. No shop that sells any kind of ammu- nition would fail to stock .22 rirnfire. Two disadvantagespresent them- selves, however, when the use of a .22 is considered. The small round has zero stopping power. People (including former President Reagan) have been shot with .22s and not even realized it until later. A ghoul taking a round to the chest would not even he slowed, let alone stopped, by this puny projectile. Another problem is the lack of skull penetration at longer ranges. With a .22, you might have to get a little too close for comfort, a fact that could increase stress and degrade the odds of a kill. By the same token, the lack of power in a round fired by a .22 has been called a blessing in disguise. Without the force to punch through the back of a zombie's skull, .22 bullets have been known to ricochet inside the brain case, doing as much damage as any .45. So when it comes time to arm yourself against a looming zombie menace, do not discount the small, almost toylike nature of this nim- ble, efficient fireann. 9. Accessories Silencers, if attainable, can he a vital attachment to your firearm. Their ability to muffle noise obviates the need for a how, sling, or other non- ballistic weapon (essential if on the move). A telescopic sight can increase aim immeasurably, especially for long-range sniper attacks. Laser sights, on the surface, may be your 50 Max Brooks best bet. After all, how hard is it to place a red dot on a ghoul's fore- head? The disadvantage is limited battery life. The same goes for night-vision scopes. Although they allow for accurate, long-range hits on zombies after dark, they become nothing more than useless black tubes when the power runs out. Conventional glass and metal sights are the preferable accessory. They may not be fancy, and they may lack the cachet of electronics, but these basic instruments will never let you down. RANGE VERSUS ACCURACY Studies have shown that, given the trauma of battle, the closer a human is to a zombie, the wilder his shooting will be. When practic- ing with your firearm(s). establish a maximum range for repeated accuracy. Practiceagainst moving targets in ideal (stress-free) condi- tions. Once that range is fixed, divide it by half. This will be your effec- tive kill zone during an actual attack. Make sure the undead do not move closer than this zone, as your accuracy will erode. If engaging a group, make sure to hit those that enter the zone first before dis- patching the others. Do not discount this advice no matter what your previous experience has been. Street-hardenedpolice officers, deco- rated combat veterans, even -cold-blooded" murderers have ended up as well-chewed meat because they believed i n their "nerves" and not their training. The Zombie Survival Guide 51 EXPLOSIVES Question: What could be better than hurling a hand grenade at a mass of approaching zombies? Answer: almost anything. Anti-personnel explosives kill mainly by shrapnel, metal shards tearing through vital organs. As this will not affect zombies, and the chance of shrapnel pen- etrating the skull is slim, grenades, bombs, and other explosive tools are inefficient weapons. These devices should not be completely discounted, though. For blasting through doors, creating instant barricades, or even scattering zombie mobs, nothing works better than ajar of gunpowder. FIRE The living dead have no fear of fire. Waving an open flame in a ghoul's face will do nothing to slow or impede its advance. Zombies who have caught fire will neither notice nor react to the engulfing flames in any way. Too many humans have met with tragedy forfaiting to understand that fire is no deterrent to zombies! As a weapon, however, fire is still humanity's greatest ally. Complete incineration i s the best way to destroy a zombie once and for all. Burning eliminates not only the body but all traces of Solanum, However, don't think a flamethrower and several Molotov cocktails 52 Max Brooks are the solution to all your problems. In actual combat, fire can be as deadly a threat as it is a protector. Flesh — human, undead, or otherwise — takes a long time to bum. In the minutes or hours before a blazing zombie succumbs, it will become a walking — or to be perfectly accurate, a shambling — torch. Several cases have been recorded in which burning ghouls have done more damage, even caused more deaths, than they would have with only their fingernails and teeth. Fire itself has no loyalty. Consider the flammable nature of your surroundings, the chance of smoke inhalation, the possibility that a blaze will act as a beacon for other zombies. All these factors must be considered before such a powerful and unpredictable weapon is unleashed. For this reason, fire is mainly considered an attack or flight weapon, and rarely used for static defense. 1. Molotov Cocktails This term applies to any jar of flammable liquid with a primitive fuse. It is a cheap, effective way to kill multiple zombies at once. If the sit- uation permits — e.g., fleeing an advancing horde, clearing a fireproof structure, or destroying a flammable structure with multiple zombies trapped in it — by all means, bombard the ghouls in question until noth- ing is left hut ash. The Zombie Survival Guide 53 2. Dousing The act of dousing consists of simply filling a bucket with flammable liquid (gasoline, kerosene, etc.), throwing it at a zombie or zombies, lighting a match, and mnning. If there is room for escape and no dan- ger of residual fire damage, the only drawback to this method is the close proximity required to fully drench the enemy. 3. The Blowtorch The common torch, which consists of a propane tank attached to a noz- zle, has neither the heating power nor the fuel supply to bum through a zombie skull. But it can be a convenient firestarter if the undead in question have already been soaked in a flammable liquid. 54 Max Brooks 4. The Flamethrower This device, perhaps more than any other, strikes people as the ulti- mate zombie eliminator. A jet of flame, two hundred feet long, com- posed of jellied gasoline, can turn an undead crowd into a wailing funeral pyre. So why not acquire one? Why not forsake all other weapons for this man-made fire- breathing dragon? The answers are as realistic as they are numerous. The flamethrower was developed purely as a military weapon and is no longer in service with the U.S. Army and Marine Corps. It would be difficult to find any model, let alone one that works properly. Acquiring the fuel is even more difficult than the thrower. But assuming you can find both, you must consider its prac- tical use. Why carry seventy pounds of equipment on your back when only a handful of ghouls are loose? A flamethrower's weight makes it a liability if you are on the move. Unless you are in a fixed position or have access to motorized transport, sheer exhaustion will become as danger- ous a threat as the walking dead. Common sense would suggest that a flamethrower's place on the battlefield is against overwhelming num- bers, swarms of undead numbering in the hundreds if not thousands. If such a horde were, heaven forbid, to exist, chances are they would be fac- ing a much larger, well-equipped government force rather than one pri- vate citizen and his trusty (and let's not forget illegal) flamethrower. OTHER WEAPONS Imagination and improvisation are two invaluable assets during clashes with the living dead. By all means, feel free to regard all the The Zombie Survival Guide 55 materials around you as a cache of potential weapons. But always keep in mind a zombie's physiology, and what your homemade device is likely to accomplish. 1. Acm Apart from fire, sulfuric acid is the best way to completely destroy a zombie. Implementing it is another matter. If somehow you have the means to acquire or produce large amounts of sulfuric acid, treat it with the same respect you would an incendiary weapon. Not only is this substance as much a danger to yourself as it is to the undead, the time it takes to dissolve zombie flesh and bone is considerable. Acid should be used as a post-encounter disposal tool rather than a combat weapon. 2. Poison As there are hundreds of thousands of lethal compounds in this world, it is impossible to discuss them all. Instead, we will review some basic rules that govern the physical and physio- logical makeup of the undead. Zombies are immune to all types of tranquilizers and irritants such as Mace and tear gas. Any compound designed to halt bodily functions would be equally impotent, as the undead no longer require these functions. Zombies do not suffer from heart attacks, nerve paralysis, suffocation, or any other fatal effects caused by poison. 3. Biological Warfare Wouldn't it be poetic to destroy beings infected by a virus with another virus? Unfortunately, this is not an option. Viruses attack only living m 56 Max Brooks cells. They have no effect on the dead. The same is true for all types of bacte- ria. Several laboratory attempts have been made to culture and spread necro- tizing fasciitis (a flesh-eating bacterial disease) among captured zombies. None have proved successful. Experi- ments are now under way to grow a new strand of bacterium that feeds only on dead flesh. Most experts are skeptical of its success. Tests are ongoing to determine which of the many microorganisms normally involved in decompositioncontinue to consume flesh in spite of its infected nature. If these microbes can be isolated, reproduced, and delivered in a manner not harmful to its user, they could be human- ity's first weapon of mass destruction in the battle against the living dead. 4. Zoological Warfare Hundreds of creatures, great and small, feed on carrion. Employing some of these animals to devour the dead before they devour the liv- ing might seem the ideal solution. Unfortunately, all species, from hye- nas to fire ants, instinctively avoid zombies. The highly toxic nature of Solanum appears to be encoded in the survival patterns of the animal kingdom. This mysterious warning signal that Solanum emits, be it an odor or some kind of "vibe" long for- gotten by humans, is impossible to mask by any known substance. (See "1911 A.D., Vitre, Louisiana," pages 215-16.) 5. Electrocution As the zombie's muscular system is basically that of a human, electricity does have the ability to temporarily stun or paralyze its body. Lethal results have The Zombie Survival Guide 57 been seen only in extreme cases such as power lines used to com- pletely char a zombie's brain. This is not a "wonder weapon" — the current that runs through power lines is enough to burn almost any organic matter, living or undead, to a crisp. It requires twice the volt- age to stun a zombie that it does to stun a human, so common taser guns are ineffective. Electricity bas been used to create a temporary barrier with water-filled, electrified ditches to keep ghouls paralyzed long enough for a secondary fatal method to be employed. Several such incidents have been recorded over the years. 6. Radiation Experiments are now being conducted to test the effects of microwaves and other electro- magnetic signals on the brains of the undead, on the theory that such a device could generate massive, instant, lethal tumors in a zombie's gray matter. Research is still in its early stages, and results have so far been inconclusive. The only known instance when zombies came into contact with gamma radiation occurred during the notorious Khotan Incident. (See "1987 A.D., Khotan, China," pages 234-35.) In this event, the ghouls were not only unaffected by rads that would have killed humans, but they threatened to spread their contamination throughout the province. For the first time, the world glimpsed a new and even deadlier threat: the radioactive zombie. As much as this sounds like the product of bad 1950s science fiction, it is, or was, a very real and historically significant fact. According to records, the radioactive ghouls pos- sessed no enhanced abilities or magical powers. The threat they posed lay in their ability to spread deadly radiation to everything and everyone they touched. Even people who drank from a water supply the ghouls had touched died soon afterward from radiation sickness. Fortunately, the outbreak was crushed by the overwhelm- ing power of the Chinese army. Not only did this solution put an end to this new danger — it prevented the disaster of the Khotan reactor going critical. 58 Max Brooks 7. Genetic Warfare Some recent proposals recommend a variety of genetic weapons in the war against the undead. The first step would be to map the genetic sequence of Solanum. Next, an agent would be developed to rewrite that sequence, ordering the virus to suspend its attack on human tis- sue, turn on itself, or simply self-destruct. Instead of retraining the zombie, we would retrain the virus that controls the zombie. If suc- cessful, any of these agents would be a revolutionary breakthrough in combating the undead. Through genetic engineering we could find an actual cure. Celebration of this breakthrough, however, will have to wait. The science of genetic therapy is still in its infancy. Even with media attention and massive financial resources, both of which are nonexistent, an agent to combat the virus will have to remain a theory. 8. Nanotherapy Nanotechnology, the study of microscopic machinery, is only in its adolescence. At present, experimental computer chips are being made that are no bigger than a molecule! One day robots that small will be able to perform tasks within the human body. These nanobots,or what- ever the accepted term will be, will one day destroy cancer cells, repair damaged tissue, even attack and destroy hostile viruses. Theoretically, there is no reason why they could not he injected by the billions into a recently infected human to identify the Solanum virus and eradicate it from the system. When will this technology be perfected? When will it find its way into the medical profession? When will it be adapted for combating Solanum? Only time will tell. ARMOR Speed and agility should be your first defense against the walking dead. Armor will not only decrease both these advantages that you have over zombies, but it will also sap your energy during prolonged conflict. Add the risk of dehydration, and the prospect seems even less The Zombie Survival Guide 59 attractive. One final, less obvious disadvantage to armor is not physi- cal but psychological: People wearing protective garb tend to feel more confident and therefore take greater risks than those in simple cloth- ing. This artificial bravery has resulted in too many senseless deaths. Simply put, the best protection from a zombie bite is distance. If for some reason you insist on some type of protective gear, the follow- ing summary will provide all the information necessary for prudent decision-making. 1. Plate Mail This could be defined as the classic "suit of armor." The term itself conjures up images of seemingly invincible knights dressed from head to toe in shining steel. With so much protection, wouldn't one be able to wander among the undead ranks, taunting them at will with no dan- ger of repercussion? In truth, standard medieval armor is far from 60 Max Brooks invulnerable. The leather or metal joints that hold its many pieces together can be torn apart by an individual's persistent hands, to say nothing of a mob. Even intact, steel suits are heavy, cumbersome, suf- focating, dehydrating, and extremely noisy. If possible, study and wear a real suit of armor and practice fighting in it against even one (mock) attacker. You will find the experience uncomfortable at best, excruci- ating at worst. Now imagine five, ten, fifty attackers, all converging on your position, grabbing at the plates, pulling them in all directions. Without the speed to outrun them or the agility to avoid them, even the necessary vision to find and strike them, yon will almost certainly end up as little more than canned food. 2. Chaw Mail If worn from head to toe, this simpler form of armor actually does pro- vide some protection from zombie bites. Teeth will be unable to pen- etrate its links, thereby saving you from infection. Its flexibility allows for greater movement and speed; its lack of a faceplate allows for greater visibility. Its very nature (unlike solid plates) allows the skin to breathe and thereby cuts down on dehydration and overheating. Drawbacks, however, are still plentiful. Unless you have been training with this armor for years, your combat effectiveness is bound to be impaired. Its weight can still increase exhaustion. Its general discom- The Zombie Survival Guide 6 1 fort can lead to unwanted distraction, something that must be avoided in battle. Although chain mail may keep you safe from infection, the pressure of a zombie bite may still be enough to crack bones, tear mus- cles, or rip flesh within the armor. As with plate mail, the clanking of so many chain links will signal to any nearby zombies that prey has arrived. Unless you want your presence announced, discount this idea entirely. On a practical note, if you choose chain mail, make sure it is battle-quality ! Much of the medieval or ancient armor produced today is for decoration or stage performance. For this reason, less expensive alloys are used in their production. When purchasing your chain mail, always ensure, through inspection and careful testing, that it can with- stand a zombie's bite. 3. The Shark Suit Although designed for protection against shark bites, this mesh bodysuit can stand up to the toughest undead jaws. Made of either high-tensile steel or titanium, it provides twice the protection of chain mail with half the weight. Noise, how- ever, is still a factor, as well as physical discomfort and decreased speed and agility. Shark suits might come in handy if hunting the dead underwater. (See "Underwater Battles," pages 144-54.) 4. Helmets This type of armor would be invaluable to ghouls, if only they knew enough to wear them. To humans, they serve no purpose other than obstructing vision. Unless your battle is taking place in a "hard hat area:' avoid this cumbersome waste of space. 62 Max Brooks 5. Bulletproof Vests Because almost all combat-related zombie bites occur on the limbs, this and other torso armor are a total waste of time. One might con- sider a bulletproof vest only in a chaotic situation in which there is a chance of being shot by your own people. Even in this situation, the misguided sniper would probably be going for a head shot. 6. Kevlar Covers In recent years, law enforcement have begun to equip officers with this light, ultra-strong material. While thicker, harder plates are used in vests to stop bullets, a thinner, more flexible version is employed to stop blades and the occasional guard dog. This new version, if cover- ing the lower legs and forearms, can help to reduce the risk of zombie bites in close-quartersituations. If you do acquire Kevlar covers, make sure to wear them only during battle, and do not draw any false brav- ery from them! Many humans in the past have believed that Kevlar or similar kinds of body armor gave them carte blanche to take unneces- sary risks. No armor in the world can protect a human from that kind of stupidity. As stated before, your goal is to survive, only survive, and never be a hero. Bravado in combat is the surest way to endanger your- self and those around you! 7. Tight Clothes and Short Hair Cold, hard figures have shown that when battling the living dead, noth- ing has saved more victims than basic, tight clothing and closely cropped hair. The simple fact is that ghouls attack by reaching out to grab their victims, pulling them in, then biting. Logic dictates that the less material a person offers up for grabs, the better his or her chances will be. Baggy clothing, complete with pockets, straps, or anything that might hang freely, will be a convenient handle for grasping zom- bie claws. Anyone who has worked in factories or with some kind of heavy machinery will tell yon the importance of never letting anything hang loose. Tight clothing, obviously within comfort limits, will help The Zombie Survival Guide 63 to eliminate this danger. Hair can be a similar hazard. Many times, vic- tims have been seized and even dragged by their hair to a gruesome end. Tying one's hair back before a conflict may work temporarily. However, a short haircut, one inch or shorter, is ideal for hand-to-hand combat. ON THE DEFENSE The story of Yahya Bey, a Turkish immigrant to the United Kingdom, describes an attack on his home village of Oltu. According to Bey, a swarm of zombies descended from the sur- rounding hills in the dead of night. Those who were not devoured fled either to their homes, the town mosque, or the local police sta- tion. Several were crushed in the panic to enter this last location while an accidental fire killed everyone inside. Many people, lack- ing the time and materials to barricade all their doors and windows, were overrun by the undead. Many, suffering from bites, sought shelter in the home of the town doctor. As he attempted to treat his patients, they expired, then reanimated. Bey, a six-year-old boy, managed to climb onto the roof of his house, remained there for most of the night, then took off at first light, jumping from roof to roof until he reached open ground. Although no one in the nearby villages believed his story, a search party was sent to look for human marauders. This group found Oltu in shambles, all buildings burned, smashed, or otherwise destroyed. Half-eaten corpses littered the deserted streets. Dragging footprints, enough to suggest a sizable group, followed a track of fewer, faster tracks into the mountains. Neither group was ever discovered. The Zombie Survival Guide 65 What is the perfect protection from the undead? Truthfully, there isn't one. Defense isn't as simple as physical safety. Supposing you manage to find, build, or modify a structure to keep the external threats at bay — then what? Zombies will not just go away, and there's no telling how long it will take for rescue. How will you survive? Hunger, thirst, dis- ease, and many other factors have claimed as many lives as the walk- ing dead. Siege warfare, the type our ancestors faced when their castles or villages were surrounded by enemies, is what you will he facing when the dead walk again. Physical safety is only one part of the equa- tion. To be fully prepared, you must have a working knowledge of sta- tionary survival. In an interdependent world, this art has long since been forgotten. Look around your home. How many items have been manu- factured within ten, fifty, even a hundred miles of it? Our way of life, particularly as members of the richest industrialized nation on earth, requires a delicate network of transportation and communication to exist. Remove that network, and we are reduced to a standard of living reminiscent of medieval Europe. Those who comprehend this and plan for such an existence stand a much greater chance of survival. This sec- tion shows both how to create a stronghold and how to live within its boundaries. THE PRIVATE RESIDENCE (DEFENDING YOUR HOME) For Class 1 conflicts, most people's homes will provide adequate shel- ter. There is no need to flee the city or town as soon as you hear that the dead are walking. In fact, this is highly discouraged. In the first hours of a zombie attack, most of the population will try desperately to escape. Roads will become a mass of stationary vehicles and pan- icked people, a situation that is rife with the potential for violence. Until the living destroy the dead, or the dead overrun the living, trying to flee would only add more bodies to the anarchy. So load your weapons, prepare for a fight, but stay put, stay safe, stay alert. And what better place to do so than in the comfort of your own home? 66 Max Brooks 1. PreparationPart I: The Home Before the dead rise, before the chaos and carnage begin, certain homeowners will find that they are safer than their neighbors. Although no house was ever constructed for the purpose of zombie defense, several designs have proved remarkably secure. If your house itself is not structurally ready for a zombie attack, various measures can be employed to fortify it. A. Exceptions Stilted homes, as seen on beaches and along rivers and other high watermark areas, were built mainly to avoid being overrun by floods. Their height already makes conventional attacks impossible. Doors and windows could even remain open and unboarded. The only entrance and one or two outside staircases could either he barricaded or destroyed once the alarm is sounded. Secure on this raised platform, survival time would he determined only by the amount of provisions a homeowner had stockpiled. There is another highly protective dwelling that was built to com- bat a force just as prevalent, and just as deadly, as an undead army: The Zombie Survival Guide 67 Tomado-proof "safe houses," now being constructed in the American heartland, are designed to resist mild to moderate twisters. Their lay- out consists of concrete walls, steel -reinforced doors, and steel shut- ters neatly concealed behind everyday curtains. On their own, these domiciles could withstand both a Class 1 and Class 2 outbreak. B. Modifications to Houses Securing a house against the undead is similar to securing it from the living. One difference is the common burglar alarm. Many of us sleep securely at night only because our alarms are "armed" and working. But what do these devices really do, other than send a signal to a pri- vate security or police force? What if these forces don't come? What if they are occupied with other battles? What if they are ordered to pro- tect areas deemed "more important"? What if they have ceased to exist, disappeared into the stomachs of ghouls? In any of these cases, direct means of defense are called for. 68 Max Brooks Security bars on doors and windows will stop a group of zom- bies for a limited amount of time. Experience has shown that as few as three walking dead can tear them down in less than twenty- four hours. Tempered safety glass prevents entry by smashing but can be forced right out of its pane. This can easily he fixed by installing concrete or steel frames. However, the money it would take to replace each window in an average house could and should be spent instead on purchasing or building one of the two house types discussed above: stilted or tomado-proof domiciles. A good ten-foot chain-link fence can hold dozens of zombies for weeks, even months, provided their numbers remain at Class LA ten- foot cinder-block wall, reinforced with steel rods and filled with con- crete, is the safest harrier in both Class 1 and Class 2 outbreaks. Zoning laws may prohibit a wall this high, but don't dismiss it. (Check with your local zoning hoard.) Although zombies have been known (on rare occasions) to hoist themselves over obstacles as high as six feet, this has never occurred en masse. Several people, well-armed and with good communication, can maintain a six-foot wall, not easily but safely, for as long as the stamina of this group holds out. A gate should be steel or wrought-iron, solid if possible. It should slide to one side, not swing in or out. Reinforcement is as simple as parking your car up against it. Electric motors make opening easier but will leave you trapped in a power outage or breakdown. As stated earlier, a ten-foot concrete wall will only provide adequate protection in a Class 1 or Class 2 outbreak. In a Class 3 outbreak, enough zombies can, and will, climb on top of each other until they form an undead ramp right over your wall. The Zombie Survival Guide 69 C. Apartments Apartments and apartment buildings vary in size and layout and, there- fore, in defensibility. However, from the squat two-story buildings of Los Angeles to the concrete and glass towers of New York, certain basic rules apply. First-floor apartments present the highest risk simply because of their accessibility. Tenants living above the ground floor are almost always safer than those in any type of house. Destroying the staircase effectively isolates the rest of the building. With the elevator turned off and the fire escape too high for a zombie to reach (strict limits are imposed by law), any apartment house can become an instant haven from the walking dead. Another advantage of the apartment complex is its large population. Whereas a private homeowner may be forced to hold the residence by himself, an apartment building can be defended by all of its tenants. This also increases the chances of having multiple skilled experts such as carpenters, electricians, paramedics, and Army reservists (not always the case, but still a possibility). Of course, with additional peo- ple comes the challenge of additional social conflicts. This potential problem, however, should never be a deterrent when choosing between a house and an apartment. Given the choice, always pick the latter. IMPORTANT NOTE: DISCOUNT HOME-DEFENSE MANUALS! Although almost every other section in this book encourages the use of conventionaltexts (on weapons use. military tactics, survival skills, and so on), those written to protect a domicile are not recommended. Home-defense books are designed to counter a human adversary with human skills and human intelligence. Many of the tactics and strategies featured in these books, such as employing elaborate alarm systems, booby traps, and painful, but nonlethal devices such as Mace canisters or nail heads in the carpet, would be useless against an undead intruder. 70 Max Brooks 2. Preparation Part II: Supplies Once the private residence is secure, stockpiling for a siege must be undertaken. There is no telling how long it will take for help to arrive. There is no telling if help ever will. Always be prepared for a long siege. Never assume a quick rescue. A. Weapons Whereas in the field you must travel light to maintain mobility, in your home you have the luxury of storing and maintaining a plethora of weapons. This does not mean filling your home with any capricious instrument of destruction. Each home arsenal should include: • Rifle, 500 rounds • Shotgun, twelve-gauge, 250 shells • Pistol, .45 caliber, 250 rounds Silencer (rifle) Silencer (pistol) • Heavy crossbow (in lieu of silencers), 150 • Telescopic sight (rifle) • Night- vision scope (rifle) • Laser sight (rifle) • Laser sight (pistol) • Katana sword . Wakizashi or other short-bladed sword • Two knives with smooth, six- to eight-inch Hand hatchet (NOTE: This list applies to a single individual. Numbers should be adjusted depending on the number of people in the group.) bolts blades The Zombie Survival Guide 71 B. Equipment Now that all weapons have been chosen, consider what equipment is necessary for your maintenance and perhaps even survival. In the short run, standard disaster- survival kits will suffice. Any longer, and the material below will be necessary. Common household items such as clothing, toilet paper, etc., are assumed to be kept on hand in reason- able quantities . Water, three quarts per day, for cooking and washing • Hand-pumped water filter • Four replacement filters Cistern for collecting rainwater • Iodine and/or purification tablets ■ Canned food, three cans per day (preferable to dried goods in that they contain some water) • Two portable electric stoves • Advanced medical kit (must include field-surgery implements and antibiotics) • Bicycle-powered electric generator . Gasoline generator (to be used only in emergencies) • Twenty gallons of gasoline • Rechargeable, battery-powered shortwave radio • Two battery-powered flashlights Two rechargeable, battery-powered electric lamps . Two rechargeable, battery-powered and/or solar-powered radios . Appropriate reinforcement materials, including lumber, bricks, mortar, etc. ■ Extensive tool kit, including sledgehammer, ax, handsaw, etc. . Lime and/or bleaching powder in sufficient supply to maintain latrine . One high-powered telescope (80X-100X), with spare lenses and cleaning equipment • Fifteen emergency flares ■ Thirty-five chemical light sticks 72 Max Brooks Five fire extinguishers • Two sets of earplugs • Spare parts for all aforementioned machinery and user's manuals ■ Extensive library of manuals, including a general disaster manual (NOTE: As with weapons, personal items such as food, water, and medicine must be multiplied for the number of people in your group.) 3. Surviving an Attack The siege has commenced. Zombies swarm around your home, inces- santly attacking but unable to enter. At this point, your worries are far from over. Waiting out a siege does not mean sitting idle. Many tasks will have to be accomplished and repeated for survival in a confined A. Designate one comer of your backyard to serve as a latrine. Most survival manuals will explain the finer points of construction and disposal. B. If soil and rain permits, dig a vegetable garden. This ready source of food should be consumed first, saving the canned food for an emergency. Keep it as far away from the latrines as possible, to The Zombie Survival Guide 73 avoid infection not by waste but by the residual effects that lime or bleach will have on the soil. C. For electricity, always resort to the manual (bicycle-powered) gen- erator. Not only is the gasoline model loud and potentially danger- ous — its fuel is finite. Use it only in extreme circumstances, such as a night attack, when manual power is unfeasible or impossible to generate. D. Patrol the wall constantly. If you're in a group, run patrols on a twenty-four-hour basis. Always be vigilant for an unlikely but pos- sible infiltration. If you are alone, limit your patrols to daylight hours. At night, make sure all doors are secure (windows should already be barred). Sleep with a flashlight and weapon nearby. Sleep lightly. E. Maintain a low profile. If you have a basement, do your cooking there, along with power generation and any equipment mainte- nance. When you monitor the radio, something that should be done every day, use headphones. Keep blackout curtains on all windows, especially at night. F. Dispose of all bodies. Be it zombie or human, a corpse is still a corpse. The bacteria in rotting flesh can be a serious health hazard. All bodies within your perimeter should be burned or buried. All bodies outside of your wall should be burned. To do this, simply stand on a ladder on your side of the wall, pour gasoline on the freshly slain ghoul, light a match and let it fall. Although this may attract more undead to your dwelling, it is a necessary risk to remove an already-present hazard. G. Exercise daily. Use of the stationary bicycle, along with basic cal- isthenics and dynamic tension, will keep your body fit and strong enough for any combat situation. Again, make sure your regimen 74 Max Brooks is quiet. If a basement is not available, use a room in the center of the house. Basic soundproofing such as mattresses and blankets against the walls will help to muffle any sounds. H. Remain entertained. Despite the need for vigilance, recreation is a must. Make sure a large cache of books, games, and other forms of amusement are available (electronic games are too noisy and energy-inefficient to be considered). In a long and seemingly inter- minable siege, boredom can lead to paranoia, delusion, and hope- lessness. It is as important to keep your mind in good shape as it is your body. I. Keep your earplugs handy, and use them often. The constant, col- lective moan of the undead, a sound that will persist at all hours for as long as the siege continues, can be a deadly form of psycholog- ical warfare. People with well-protected, well-suppliedhomes have been known to either kill one another or go insane simply from the incessant moan. J. Make sure your escape route is planned and your gear ready to go. In the uncertainty of battle, it may be necessary to abandon your home. Perhaps the wall has been breached, perhaps a fire has The Zombie Survival Guide 75 started, perhaps rescue has arrived hut is not close enough. For whatever reason, it's time to go. Keep your survival pack and weapon in a readily accessible area, packed, loaded, and ready for action. 4. Immediate Defense The dead have risen. You smell the smoke, hear the sirens. Screams and shots fill the air. You have been unable or unwilling to properly 76 Max Brooks prepare your home — what now? Although the situation looks grim, it by no means signals your demise. If you take the right actions at the right time, you can save yourself and your family from joining the ranks of the undead. A. Strategies for Two-Story Homes 1. Lock all your doors and windows. Although a pane of glass may not stop a zombie, the sound of its shattering will he the best warning you can get. 2. Run upstairs and turn on the bathtub. Although this sounds foolish, there is no way of know- ing when the water will be cut. After a few days, thirst will become your greatest enemy. 3. Find the best weapons possible. (See previous chapter.) They should be light and, if possible, attachable to your body so you will have the full use of your hands. Those will be busy for the next hour. 4. Begin stockpiling the second story. Use the list on pages 71-72 as your guide. Most households have at least 50 percent of the items listed. Do a quick inventory to see what you have. Don't take every- thing, just the bare essentials: one or two weapons, some food (you already have a bathtub full of water), a flashlight, and a battery- powered radio. And since most families keep their medical chests upstairs, yon won't need anything more. Remember: Time could be short, so don't spend it all gathering supplies when the most impor- tant job is still ahead. 5. Demolish the staircase! As zombies are unable to climb, this method guarantees your safety. Many have argued that an easier solution would be to board up all the windows and doors. This method is self-defeating because it would take only a few zombies to break through any homemade barricade. No doubt destroying your staircase will take time and energy, but it must be done. Your life depends on it. Do not, under any circumstances,try to burn your stairs away with the hope of controlling the fire. Several people The Zombie Survival Guide 77 have attempted to save time in this way; their efforts have ended in either death by fire or the total destruction of their home. 6. If you have a ladder, use it to continue to stock your upstairs refuge. IF not, catalog what you do have, fill all sinks and other receptacles with water, and prepare for a long wait. 7. Stay out of sight. If you listen to the radio, do it at a minimum vol- ume. When the skies darken, do not -bun on the lights. Do not go near the windows. Try to make it seem as if the house has been abandoned. This may not stop a random zombie intrusion, hut it will help to dis- courage a mass congregation from descending upon your home. 8. Do not use the phone. As in all disasters, the lines will probably be tied up. One more call only contributes to clogging the system. Keep the ringer on the lowest setting. If a call does come through, by all means answer it, but do so quietly. 9. Plan an alternate escape. You may be safe from zombies hut not from fire. If a gas line bursts, or some fool down the street goes crazy with a Molotov, yon may have to abandon your home. Find a hag or other means of carrying essentials (see "On the Run," pages 94—123), and keep it at the ready. B. Strategies for Single-Story Homes If you do not live in a two-story house, the attic will he a less com- fortable hut equally secure substitute. Most can he secured by simply 78 Max Brooks raising the retractable staircase or removing the temporary ladder. Zombies lack the cognitive ability to build a ladder of their own. If you stay quiet, they will not even know that an attic exists. Never use a basement as a shelter. Popular horror flicks have shown that, in a crunch, this subterranean chamber can protect the living from the dead. This is a dangerous fallacy. Burning, suffocating, or simply starving to death in basements have claimed hundreds of lives over the years. If you find yourself in a one-story home with no attic, grab what- ever supplies you can, take hold of a weapon, and climb onto the roof. If the ladder is kicked away, and there is no direct access (a window or trapdoor), the undead will not be able to reach you. Keep still and keep silent to avoid attracting the undead. Zombies in the area will break into the house below you, search it for prey, then wander off. Remain on the roof for as long as you can, until supplies are exhausted or a res- cue patrol arrives. It may not be comfortable, but it is your best chance for survival. Eventually, it will become inevitable to abandon this refuge. (See "On the Run," pages 94-123, for details.) PUBLIC SPACES As with private homes, safety can be found in public or nonresidential buildings. In some cases, their size and layout may afford more pro- tection than the most secure domiciles. In other cases, the exact oppo- site is true. Because arming and equipping these structures should be done in the same manner as in private homes, albeit on a grander scale, this section focuses on the best and worst public sanctuaries. 1. Office Buildings Many of the same rules regarding apartment houses can be applied to office buildings. Once the first floor has been abandoned, the staircases destroyed, and the elevators shut down, an office building can be a tower of safety. The Zombie Survival Guide 79 2. Schools As there is no generic layout, deciding whether a public school is a good place to hole up can be tricky. Keep in mind the general rules of defense (see "General Rules," pages 86-87). Unfortunately for our society but fortunately for a zombie siege, inner-city schools have taken on a fortress-like atmosphere. Not only are the buildings them- selves built to withstand a riot, but chain-link fences surrounding them make these halls of education look more like military compounds. Food and medical supplies should he readily available from the cafe- teria, the nurse's station, or the physical-education office. Often, a school is your best bet — perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack. 3. Hospitals What would seem to be the safest, most logical place to flee to during an outbreak is actually one of the worst. Yes, hospitals may be stocked with food, medical supplies, and an expert staff. Yes, the structures themselves could be secured, as with any office or apartment building. Yes, they may have security, even a regular police presence. In any other disaster, a hospital should be first on your list of havens. Not so when the dead rise. Even with growing awareness about zombies, Solanum infections are still misdiagnosed. Humans with bites or newly murdered corpses are always brought to hospitals. The majority of first-wave zombies (in some cases 90 percent) consist of medical staff or those involved with the treatment of cadavers. Chronological maps of zombie outbreaks show them literally radiating from these buildings. 4. Police Stations Unlike with hospitals, the reason for avoiding police stations has less to do with zombies than with humans. In all probability, the people liv- ing in your city or town will flock to the local police station, creating a nexus of chaos, bodies, and eventual blood. Imagine a packed, writhing crowd of frightened people, too many to control, all trying to 80 Max Brooks force their way into the building they think best represents safety. One does not need to he bitten by zombies when beatings, stabbings, acci- dental shootings, and even tramplings are just as likely. So when the dead rise, locate your local police station — and head the other way. 5. Retail Stores For Class 1 uprisings, many types of retail stores will provide adequate shelter. Those with roll-down gates, solid or otherwise, can stop up to ten zombies for several days. If the siege lasts any longer or if more zombies arrive, the situation may change dramatically. Enough romng fists, enough heaving fonns smashing against the gate will eventually break it down. Always have an alternate escape route planned, so that if the barricade is breached, you can quickly move on. If you can't for- mulate a solid Plan B, do not consider this place a refuge. Stores with- out gates should not be considered. Their display windows will do nothing more than advertise you to the zombies. 6. Supermarkets Although they have enough food to sustain your group for years, supermarkets are also dangerous. Their huge glass doors, even when locked and gated, provide little protection. Reinforcement of these entrances would be difficult. Basically, the exterior of a supermarketis agiant display window, meant to show the fresh, delicious food within. With humans on the inside and zombies on the outside, that is exactly what it will do. Not all food stores are deathtraps, however. The smaller, family- owned markets and bodegas of the inner city can serve quite well as temporary havens. To protect against theft and, more recently, riot, all have strong steel gates, some even solid roll-down shutters. As with stores, these small markets can provide adequate protection for short- term, low-intensity attacks. If you find yourself in one, remember to eat perishables first and be ready to dispose of the rest if (when) the electricity is cut. The Zombie Survival Guide 81 7. Shopping Malls A practically indefensible structure. Large shopping centers are always targets for both humans and zombies. It is always the case with social disturbance: At the first sign of trouble, these concentrations of wealth swarm with private security, police, even overzealous shop owners. If the crisis occurs suddenly, a large number of shoppers may become trapped within the mall, creating problems of overcrowding, tram- pling, and suffocation, as well as attracting the dead. In an outbreak of any class, heading for a shopping mall would mean heading for a cen- ter of chaos. 8. Churches Forgive the expression, but places of worship are a mixed blessing. The main advantage of most churches, synagogues, mosques, and other houses of worship is that they are built to withstand forced entry. Most have heavy wood or metal doors. Windows tend to be high off the ground. A majority possess wrought-iron fences that, despite their aes- thetic intent, can serve as added protection. When compared to many secular structures of equal size, your typical place of worship is sur- 82 Max Brooks prisingly secure. However, the protection they offer during an outbreak will never he enough against the horde of zombies that are sure to come. The inevitable onslaught has, of course, nothing to do with the supernatural. Satan's soldiers are not out to invade God's house. Ultimate evil is not doing battle with ultimate good. The walking dead attack churches for one good reason: It's where the food is. Despite their education, technical sawy, and professed disinterest in the spiri- tual world, urban Americans run, screaming to their gods, at the first sight of zombies. These places of worship, crammed with people loudly praying for their souls, have always served as beacons for the undead. Aerial photographs have shown zombies migrating, slowly, steadily, and with increasing numbers, toward their future slaughter- house: the nearest church. 9. Warehouses Given their lack of windows, easily secured entrances, and generally spacious layouts, warehouses can be an ideal refuge for an extended period of time. Many warehouses have a security office, usually The Zombie Survival Guide 83 equipped with bathroom facilities and therefore an immediate source of water. If the merchandise that is stored there is both heavy and kept in large, durable crates, consider yourself lucky. These boxes can be used to reinforce doorways, create private rooms, or even, as many of us did when we were children, be used to build a secondary line of defense or "fort" within the main area. There is the possibility, how- ever unlikely, that whatever goods are stored could be helpful to your survival. For all these reasons, rank warehouses among your most attractive hideouts. One caveat concerning location: 50 percent of the time, these buildings are close to shipyards, factories, or other indus- trial sites. If this is the case, be cautious, observant, and always ready to flee. Also, beware of refrigerated warehouses storing perishable goods. Once electricity is lost, their quick decomposition can become a severe health hazard. 10. Piers and Docks With some modifications, adequate supplies, and the right location, any dock or pier can be made practically unreachable. Because zom- bies can neither swim nor climb, their only access would be from land. Destroying that one access point would leave you on an artificial island. 11. Shipyards Despite the fact that they frequently are the storage site for industrial waste and hazardous materials, shipyards do present undeniable pos- sibilities for refuge. Like warehouses, their containers can be trans- formed into barriers or, in some cases, even weapons. (See "Mar. 1994 A.D., San Pedro, California," pages 24041.) The ships themselves become ready havens once the gangway has been secured. But before boarding, make sure you check these waterborne fortresses for infected crew, particularly in smaller, recreational marinas. In the first stages of an outbreak, citizens will no doubt flock to the shoreline, hoping to use (or steal) any available cabin cruiser. Because many marinas are built in relatively shallow water, they are not deep enough 84 Max Brooks to keep zombies completely submerged. More than once, an unwary, amateur sailor has climbed aboard his boat to find several ravenous, waterlogged zombies waiting for him. 12. Banks What could he safer than a stronghold already built to house the most valuable commodity on Earth? Wouldn't a bank he a logical place to prepare a defense? Wouldn't its security measures be more than enough to repel a horde of walking dead? Not in the least. Even the most cur- sory examination of banks reveals that a majority of their so-called "security" features require the deployment of police and/or outside security. With the police and all other special forces otherwise engaged during an outbreak, silent alarms, surveillance cameras, and waist-high locked gates will he useless when the dead smash through the plate- glass windows, hungry for human flesh. Of course, there is safety in the vault. These titanic constructions would stop even zombies armed with rocket launchers. (No, zombies do not know how to operate rocket launchers.) However, once inside the vault, what next? Given that there is no food, no water, and precious little oxygen, seeking refuge in a The Zombie Survival Guide 85 vault does little more than give you enough time to place a gun to your head, make peace with your god, and pull the trigger. 13. Cemeteries Ironically, and despite many popular myths, cemeteries are not the most dangerous place to be when the dead rise. In fact, they can be a place of temporary rest. As previously stated, infected bodies are more likely to end up in hospitals or morgues, reanimating long before they can be taken to cemeteries for conventional burials. And if by some miracle, a corpse did come to life inside its coffin, would it really "rise from the grave"? To answer this question, one must ask another: how? How would a body with normal human strength claw its way out of a coffin, possibly made of steel, possibly encased in a hermetically sealed box, six feet underground? If one looks at the preservation methods involved in standard American burials, the fact is obvious that any person, undead or otherwise, could not possibly scrape, scratch, and crawl his or her way to the surface. But what if the casket is not made of steel? Even a plain pine box would be prison enough to entomb the most tenacious zombie. What if the wooden casket has rot- ted? In that case, the body has been lying buried so long that its brain 86 Max Brooks has rotted away as well. Remember: Bodies that reanimate have to be fresh, reasonably intact, and infected with the virus. Does this describe a long-dead corpse? Although it's seen as an iconic vision of the liv- ing dead, like vampires drinking blood or werewolves howling at the full moon, the fact remains that zombies have not and never will rise from the grave. 14. Capitols and City Halls Apply the same principles regarding police stations, hospitals, and houses of worship to state, municipal, and federal government build- ings. Most will be the focus of concentrated human activity, making them centers of chaos and zombie congregation. Avoid all government buildings if possible. GENERAL RULES: Buildings in poorer, inner-city neighborhoods tend to be more secure than others. Their reliance on high fences, razor wire, barred windows, and other anti -crime features make them readily defensible. Buildings in middle- or high-income areas tend to emphasize aesthetics. What rich city council wants an eyesore in its neighborhood? Instead of ugly, even tacky, safety features, these affluent people rely more heavily on law enforcement and private security (forces of proven unreliability). For these reasons, and if the situation permits, head away from the sub- urbs and toward the inner city. Avoid "accidents waiting to happen." Many industrial structures of the sort commonly found in inner-city or "downtown" areas house explosive or flammable materials. They also may contain complicated machinery such as power generators and environmental regulators, mechanisms that require constant supervision. Put those two together, and disaster is guaranteed. The Khotan nuclear power plant is only one extreme example. More numerous if less dramatic incidents usually occur with all Class 2 and 3 outbreaks. Do not seek refuge in or near The Zombie Survival Guide 87 industrial sites, fuel-storagefacilities, airports, or any other place iden- tified as high-risk. When choosing a refuge, consider these questions carefully: 1. Is there a wall, fence, or other physical perimeter? 2. How many potential entrances/exits are there? 3. Can the people in your party simultaneously defend each fence and exit? 4. Is there a secondary defensive position, multiple floors, or an attic? 5. Can the building be secured? 6. Is there a potential escape route? 7. What is the supply situation? 8. Is there a water line? 9. If needed, are weapons or tools available? 10. Are materials available to reinforce the entrances? 11. What about means of communication: phone, radio, Internet, etc.? 12. Given all these factors, how long could you or your group survive an extended siege? Make sure to consider all these questions when choosing where to make your stand. Resist the urge to dash into the nearest building. Remember; no matter how desperate the situation seems, time spent thinking clearly is never time wasted. THE FORTRESS In Class 3 outbreaks, private homes and even public structures prove insufficient to support human life. Eventually, the people inside will have either suffered the eventual degradation of their defenses, or sim- ply run out of supplies. What is needed in a severe outbreakis a nearly impregnable structure with all the facilities of a self-sustaining bio- sphere. What is needed is a fortress. This does not mean you must search one out immediately. The first days, even weeks, of a Class 3 88 Max Brooks infestation will he marked by utter bedlam, an orgy of panicked vio- lence that will make travel risky. When things have "quieted down," humans in the area will have been organized, evacuated, or completely devoured. Only then should you begin your search for a fortress. 1. Military Complexes Army, Marine, or even Air Force bases should be your top priority when searching for a fortress. Many are located in sparsely populated and therefore less infested areas. Almost all have elaborate security fences around their perimeters. Some have secondary, even tertiary defensive positions. Most are equipped with fully stocked, fully functional fallout shelters, some with the capabilities of a small city. Because they have multiple means of communication, they will undoubtedly be the last of all global facilities to lose contact with one another. What is most important, however, is not the physical fortifications but the men and women within them. As has been noted, well-trained, well-armed, well- disciplined people are always the best defense. Even with some deser- tions, a small cadre of soldiers would be enough to hold the perimeter indefinitely. To enter a military base in times of crisis, you would find a self-contained world of trained specialists, most probably with their dependents (families) on base, all ready to defend their new home. The best example of this was Fort Louis Philippe in French North Africa (see pages 211-13), where in 1893 a unit of French Foreign Legionnaires successfully survived a zombie siege for an amazing three years! One expected problem of military bases is that their obvious advantages make them prone to overcrowding during an outbreak, which creates the addi- tional dangers of acute supply consumption and security degradation. 2. Prisons Although designed from the ground up to keep the living in, correc- tional institutions can also be more than efficient in keeping the dead out. Behind their formidable walls, each cell block, comdor, and room is a fortress unto itself. Problems, of course, do arise when considering prisons as a refuge. The Zombie Survival Guide 89 Ironically modem penitentiaries are less defensible than older models because of the way they were designed. High concrete walls are a clas- sic trademark of the pre- 1965 prison. Their design is a product of the industrial age, when sheer size was valued as a means of intimidation and respect. Although this psychological aspect may be lost on the dead, anyone seeking refuge could not ask for a better, time-honored barrier than the ones that kept our ancestors safe from society's crim- inal element. In an age of bottom lines and frugal budgeting, available technology has replaced heavy and expensive construction. Sur- veillance cameras and motion sensors leave only a double fence of razor wire as the physical deterrents to escape. A dozen zombies would be stopped in their tracks. Hundreds could maybe cause some damage. Several thousand, however, crawling over each other in a writhing, growing mound, would eventually rise high enough to topple the first fence, then the second, then come swarming into the compound. Against this onslaught, who wouldn't trade all the high-tech machin- ery in the world for twenty feet of old-fashioned concrete? And what about the inmates? Considering that within a prison's walls are the most dangerous members of our society, wouldn't it be wiser to confront the undead? Most of the time, the answer is yes. Anyone with common sense knows it's safer to take on ten zombies than one hardened criminal. However, in the event of a large-scale, long-term infestation, prisoners will no doubt be released. Some may decide to stay and fight for their safety (see " 1960 A.D., Byelgoransk, Soviet Union," pages 226-27), or risk the dangers of the outside for freedom, even a chance to raid the surrounding countryside. Be care- ful when approaching a prison. Make sure the inmates have not taken over. Use caution if internal leadership consists of a prisoner-guard coalition. In other words, unless the penitentiaryis abandoned or pop- ulated by civilians and guards, always be on your toes. Once inside the gates, several major steps must be taken to trans- form this correctional facility into a self-contained village. The fol- lowing is a Checklist for Survival should you find the penitentiary abandoned. 90 Max Brooks A. Locate and catalog all supplies within the walls: weapons, food, tools, blankets, medicine, and other useful items. Prisons will not be high on a looter's list. You may find almost everything you need. B. Establish a renewable source of water. Exploratory wells and a variety of rain catchers can be used when the lines go dry. Before this happens, make sure that all large containers are filled and cov- ered. Water will not only be important for drinking and cleanli- ness—it will be vital for agriculture. C. Plant vegetable and, if possible, grain gardens such as wheat or rye. A long-term emergency could last entire seasons, long enough to harvest and consume several crops. You probably won't find seeds on the premises, so count on raiding the surrounding areas. This is dangerous but necessary, as agriculture will be the only long-term means of sustenance. D. Harness a source of power. When the grid goes, you may have enough fuel to run the emergency generators for days, even weeks. Muscle-operateddynamos can be easily modified from the existing generators. Operating these machines will also eliminate the need for an exercise regimen. Your generator may not provide the amount of electricity you had while connected to the grid, but it should provide more than enough for a small to medium-sized group. E. Plan for a breach. What if the gates should suddenly topple? What if a crack should widen somewhere in the wall? What if for some unforeseen reason, the undead come flooding through the com- pound? No matter how strong your perimeter may seem, always have a backup defense. Plan which cellhlock will be your fallback point. Reinforce, arm, and maintain it constantly. This should also be your primary living area, capable of housing your group until the compound can be retaken or an escape can be executed. The Zombie Survival Guide 91 F. Remain entertained! As with the private home defense, keeping a positive mental attitude is essential. Find the natural entertainer in your group and encourage him or her to develop a routine of shows. Encourage talent nights and competitions among the others. Music, dance, storytelling, comedy — whatever people can do, no matter how bad it may be. This may seem silly, even ridiculous: Who's going to plan a talent show when hundreds of zombies are scrap- ing at the gates? Someone who knows the importance of morale in any time of crises. Someone who knows the psychological damage a siege can cause. Someone who knows that a group of rattled, angry, frustrated people are just as dangerous as the hundreds of zombies scraping at the gates. G. Learn! Almost every prison in the United States has its own library. Use your free time (and there will be plenty of it) to read every use- ful text. Subjects like medicine, mechanics, construction, horticul- ture, and psychoanalysis — there are so many skills waiting to be learned. Make each member of your group an expert in something. Organize classes to teach one another. You never know when an expert may he lost and another designated to replace him. Knowledge from the prison library will help with every task on this list. 3. Offshore Oil Rigs When choosing a fortress purely for its safety, nothing on earth holds a candle to these artificial islands. Completely isolated from shore, with living and work spaces towering far above the waterline, even a bloated, floating zombie could never climb aboard. This makes secu- rity almost a non-issue, allowing you and your group to concentrate fully on the task of survival. Offshore platforms also excel in self-containment, especially in the short term. As with ships, they carry their own living and medical facil- ities. Many are equipped to supply all their crew's needs for up to six months. All have their own distilleries, so fresh water will never he a 92 Max Brooks problem. Since all are equipped to mine either oil or natural gas, power will be unlimited. Food is also plentiful, as the ocean provides a nutritious (and, some would argue, superior) diet of fish, kelp, and if possible, seaborne mammals. Unless the rig is extremely close to land, there is no danger of industrial pollution. People can, and do, live entirely, indefinitely from the riches of the sea. This complete isolation, as attractive as it sounds, also presents its own brand of difficulties. Anyone living near the beach will tell yon what a killer salt air can be. Corrosion will be your number one enemy, eventually winning out against all preventative measures. Essential machines can he repaired. Cruder distilleries of steel pots and copper tubing work just as well as high-tech desalinizers. Wind- or tidal-powered dynamos could provide more than half the power of the fossil-fuel generators. Sensitive elec- tronic gear, however, such as computers, radios, and medical machin- ery, will be the first to go and the hardest to replace. Eventually, the entire complex will deteriorate, from a cutting-edge industrial wonder to a crude and rusty albeit still serviceable hulk. The Zombie Survival Guide 93 Unlike prisons and military bases, offshore oil rigs will be the first places abandoned. Within the first few days of an outbreak, workers will no doubt demand to get to their families, leaving the rig without a trained staff. If none of your group knows how to operate the machin- ery, learning might be difficult. Unlike prisons, there may not be a library with how-to books on every shelf. This may require a little cre- ative improvisation, making do with what you can operate instead of, or until you can master, all the technology that can be found on most sophisticated rigs. Industrial accidents — explosions of stored oil and gas — are bad enough on land. In the middle of the ocean, they have materialized into some of the worst disasters in history. Even with all the firefighting and rescue facilities of a living, functional world, entire crews have been killed when their rigs went up in flames. What would happen if a fire occurred and there was no one to cry to for help? This does not mean that oil rigs are sea-based bombs waiting to go off; it does not mean they should be avoided by all but the most foolhardy. What is recom- mended, however, is to shut down the drill. This may rob you of new petroleum but will work wonders for your life expectancy. Use already-stored fuel for the generator. As stated above, it will not give you the same amperage as the primary generator, but with the drill off and all industrial facilities closed, what will you need it for? The ocean can be a source of life, but also a merciless killer. Storms, striking with a ferocity rarely seen on land, can smash even the sturdi- est platforms. News tapes of North Sea rigs literally turning over, dis- integrating to rubble, then sinking beneath the waves are enough to make anyone think twice about leaving shore. This is, unfortunately, a problem that cannot be remedied by humanity. Nothing in this or any other book can save you from nature when she decides to remove this hunk of steel from her ocean. ON THE RUN The 1965 "Lawson Film," as it is now commonly called, is an 8mm home movie of five people attempting to escape the infestation of Lawson, Montana. Its shaky, soundless footage shows the group rac- ing to a school bus, starting the engine, and attempting to drive out of town. After only two blocks, they accidentally rammed several wrecked cars, backed up into a building, and cracked the rear axle. Two members of the group smashed the windshield and tried to make it out on foot. The camera operator filmed one of them being grabbed and mauled by six zombies. The other ran for her life, disappearing around a comer. Moments later, seven zombies surrounded the bus. Fortu- nately, they were unable to turn the vehicle over or smash the glass of the side door. As the film ran out after only a few minutes, little is known of what happened to the survivors. The bus was eventually found with its door caved in. Dried blood covered the inside. During the course of an outbreak, you may find it necessary to flee the area. Your fortress may be overran. You may run out of supplies. You may become critically injured or ill, in need of professional medical attention. Fire, chemicals, or even radiation may be rapidly approach- ing. Crossing an infested area is generally the most dangerous thing The Zombie Survival Guide 95 you can do. You will never be safe, never be secure. Always exposed, in hostile temtory, you will know what it means to be prey. GENERAL RULES: 1. ONE GOAL: Too often, people who have been holed up in fort- fied dwellings are seduced by the distractions of their initial free- dom. Most of these people never make it to safety. Do not become one of these unnecessary statistics. Your mission is to escape — nothing more, nothing less. Do not look for abandoned valuables. Do not hunt the occasional zombie. Do not investigate any strange noises or lights in the distance. Just get out. Every side trip, every pause in the journey, increases the odds of being found and devoured. Jf by some chance you come across humans that need assistance, by all means stop to help. (Sometimes logic must give way to humanity.) Otherwise, keep going! 2. ESTABLISH A DESTINATION: Where exactly are you headed? Too often, people have abandoned their fortifications to wander aimlessly and hopelessly across an area swarming with ghouls. Without a fixed destination in mind, the chances of sur- viving the journey are slim. Use your radio to discover the nearest haven. If possible, try to communicate with the outside world to confirm that this destination is indeed safe. Always have a backup destination, in case the first is overrun. Unless other humans are waiting, and unless constant communication is maintained, you may arrive to find a gathering of zombies waiting hungrily at the finish line. 3. GATHER INTELLIGENCE AND PLAN YOUR JOURNEY: How many zombies (approximately) stand between you and your destination? Where are the natural boundaries? Have there been hazardous accidents such as fires or chemical spills? What are the 96 Max Brooks safest routes to take? What are the most dangerous? Which have been blocked since the outbreak began? Will weather be a prob- lem? Are there any assets along the way? Are you sure they're still there? Can you think of any information you'd like to have before setting out? Obviously, once you are holed up in your fortress, gathering intelligence will be difficult. It may be impossible to know how many zombies are out there, if a bridge is down, or if all the boats at the marina are gone. So know your terrain. At least that factor will not change with an outbreak. Consider where you will be at the end of each day. Make sure, at least from the map, that it's relatively defensible, with good concealment and several escape routes. Specific gear will also have to be considered, depending on the chosen path. Will rope be required for climbing? What about extra water if there's no natural source? Once all these factors are calculated, consider the unknown vari- ables and formulate backup plans around them. What will you do if a fire or chemical spill blocks your path? Where will you go if the zombie threat turns out to be greater than anticipated? What if a team member is injured? Consider all the possibilities, and do your best to plan for them. If someone says to you, "Hey, let's just get going and deal with whatever's out there," hand him a pistol with one bullet and tell him that it's an easier way of committing suicide. The Zombie Survival Guide 97 4. GET IN SHAPE: If the previous instructions have been followed to the letter, your body should already be conditioned for a long journey. If this is not the case, begin a strict cardiovascular regi- men. If there is no time, make sure the path you have chosen is within your physical abilities. 5. AVOID LARGE GROUPS: When on the defense, the advantage lies in numbers. But when traveling through zombie territory, the opposite holds true. Large groups increase the chances of detec- tion. Even with strict discipline, accidents happen. Larger groups also impede mobility, because the slowest members have to strug- gle to keep pace with the fastest, and vice versa. Of course, trav- eling solo has its problems as well. Security, reconnaissance, and, naturally, sleep would all be hampered if someone tried to "go it alone." For ideal performance, keep your team at three members. Four to ten is still manageable. Anything above that is asking for trouble. Three members allow mutual protection in hand-to-hand fighting, dispersion of guard duty at night, and the ability of two members to cany an injured third for short periods of time. 6. TRAIN YOUR GROUP: Take stock of your team's individual skills, and use them accordingly. Who can carry the most gear? Who's the fastest runner? Who's the quietest in hand-to-handcom- bat? Designate individual jobs in both combat and everyday sur- vival. When your team hits the road, everyone should know what's expected of him or her. Working together should also be top pri- ority. Practice mock survival techniques as well as combat drills. For example, time how long it will take to pack up all your gear and move out in a sudden zombie attack. Obviously, time may be critical in your departure. In an ideal situation, your group should move as one, act as one, kill as one. 7. REMAIN MOBILE: Once discovered, zombies will converge on you from every direction. Mobility, not firepower, is your best 98 Max Brooks defense. Be prepared to run at a moment's notice. Never pack more than you can run with. Never unpack all your gear at once. Never remove your shoes unless immediate security is assured! Pace yourself. Undertake high-speed dashes only when necessary, as they squander large amounts of precious energy. Take frequent, short breaks. Do not allow yourself to become too comfortable. Remember to stretch during each break. Never take unnecessary risks. Jumping, climbing, and anything that could cause injury should be avoided if possible. In ghoul -infested territory, the last thing you need is a sprained ankle. 8. REMAIN INVISIBLE: Other than speed, your next closest ally will he stealth. Like a mouse to crawl through a nest of snakes, you must do everything possible to avoid detection. Turn off any hand-held radios or electronic equipment. If you wear a digital watch, make sure the alarm is deactivated. Tie down all your gear, making sure nothing clanks when you walk. If possible, keep your canteen full (to avoid a "sloshing" sound). If in a group, refrain from talking. Whisper or use visual signals to communi- cate. Stick to areas with good cover. Travel through open areas only when necessary. At night, refrain from using fires, flashlights, or any other sources of light. This will restrict your mobility to daylight hours and your diet to cold rations, but these sacrifices must be made. Studies have shown that zombies with intact eyes can spot a glowing cigarette ember from over half a mile away. (It is not known whether this causes them to investigate, hut why take the chance?) Fight only when you have to. Delays brought on by battle will serve only to draw more zombies. People have been known to fin- ish off one zombie only to find themselves surrounded by dozens more. If combat proves inevitable, use firearms only in the most desperate of circumstances. Firing a shot is no different than send- ing up a flare. Its report may attract zombies for miles around. Unless you have a reliable and very speedy means of escape, or The Zombie Survival Guide 99 unless your firearm is silenced, use a secondary hand weapon. If not, have an escape route planned and ready to use once your shots are fired. 9. LOOK AND LISTEN: In addition to staying hidden, you must try to spot potential threats. Watch for any movement. Don't ignore shadows or distant humanoid forms. During breaks and while on the march, pause to listen to your surroundings. Do you hear footsteps or scraping sounds? Are the undead moaning, or is it just the wind? Of course, it is easy to become paranoid, to believe zombies are around every comer. Is that bad? In this instance, no. It's one thing to believe everyone's out to get you, quite another when it's actually true. 10. SLEEP! : You or your group are all alone, trying to he silent, try- ing to be alert. Zombies could be anywhere, hiding, hunting. Dozens could appear at any moment, and help is miles away. So how in heaven's name are you supposed to get any sleep!?! It sounds crazy, it sounds impossible, but it is essential if you're going to make it through this ordeal alive. Without rest, muscles deteriorate, senses dull, and each passing hour reduces your abil- ity to operate. Many a foolhardy human, believing he could load his body with caffeine and "power through" his trek, has realized too late the consequences of such stupidity. One advantage of having to travel by day is that, like it or not, you're not going any- where for at least several hours. Instead of cursing the darkness, use it. Traveling in small groups, as opposed to solo, allows for more secure sleep because individual members can take shifts standing watch. Of course, even with someone watching over you, dropping off will not be easy. Resist the temptation of sleep- ing pills. Their effects could leave yon unable to function if zom- bies attack during the night. Other than meditation or other mental exercises, there is no quick fix for getting to sleep in the middle of an infestation. 100 Max Brooks 11. REFRAIN FROM OVERT SIGNALS: The first sight of a plane might cause you to try to attract the pilot's attention, firing your weapon, sending up a flare, lighting a signal fire, or by some other dramatic means. This could get the pilot's attention, who could radio for a helicopter or ground rescue team to head for your posi- tion. This act will also attract nearby zombies. Unless the heli- copter is only minutes away, the zombies will undoubtedly reach you first. Unless the aircraft you see has the potential to land right then and there, do not attempt to signal it with anything other than a radio or mirror. If these are not available, keep going. 12. AVOR) URBAN AREAS: No matter what your chances for sur- vival are during an infestation, they will undoubtedly drop by 50 if not 75 percent when traversing an urban area. The simple fact is that a place inhabited by more living will have more dead. The more buildings present, the more places to be ambushed. These buildings also decrease your field of vision. Hard cement surfaces, unlike soft ground, do nothing to muffle footsteps. Add to that the chances of simply knocking something over, tripping over debris, or crunching over broken glass, and you have a recipe for a very noisy trip. Also, as has been and will be stressed again in this chapter, the possibility of being trapped, cornered, or otherwise surrounded in an urban area is infinitely greater than it is in any wilderness set- ting. Forget for a moment that your problem even comes from the living dead. What about friendly fire, other humans hiding in buildings, or armed bands of hunters that mistake you for a zom- bie? What about fire, either accidental or intentionally started by hunters? What about chemical spills, poisonous smoke, or other hazardous by-products of urban warfare? What about disease? Remember that bodies of both dead humans and dispatched zom- bies might be left unattended for weeks. The deadly microorgan- isms they carry that are spread by the wind will be as potent a health hazard as any other found on city streets. Unless you have The Zombie Survival Guide 101 some legitimate reason (a rescue attempt or impassable obstacles on either side, not a quick chance to loot), stay away from cities at all costs! EQUIPMENT Traveling light is essential to your journey. Before packing anything, ask yourself, "Do I really need this?" Once you've compiled your gear, go down the list and ask that question again. Once you've done that, do it again. Of course, traveling light does not mean just holstering a .45, grabbing some beef jerky and a water bottle, and heading down the road. Equipment will be vital, more so than in any other scenario where you are holed up in a place — a prison, a school, your own home — where supplies are in abundance. The equipment you take with you may be all you have. You will carry your hospital, storeroom, and armory on your back. The following is a list of standard equipment you will need for a successful journey. Specific gear such as alpine skis, sunblock, or mosquito netting should be added according to your envi- ronment. • Backpack • Dependable hiking boots (already broken in) • Two pairs of socks • Wide-mouthed, quart-sized water bottle • Water-purification tablets* • Wind- and waterproof matches Bandanna • Map** Compass** . Small flashlight (AAA battery) with coated lens Poncho Small signaling mirror ■ Bedroll or sleeping bag (both will be too cumbersome) 102 Max Brooks Sunglasses (polarized lenses) • Palm-sized first- aid kit* . Swiss Army knife or multi-tool Hand-held radio with earpiece** • Knife • Binoculars** . Primary firearm (preferably, a semi- automatic carbine) Fifty rounds (if in a group, thirty per person) • Cleaning kit** . Secondary firearm (preferably a .22 rimfire pistol)* • Twenty-five rounds* . Hand weapon (preferably, a machete) • Signal flares** *not necessary in groups **need be carried by only one person if in a group In addition, all groups should carry: • Silent ballistic weapon (preferably a silenced firearm or crossbow) . Extra ammunition for fifteen kills (if weapon differs from standard firearm) • Telescopic sight • Medium-sized medical kit • Two-way radio with headphones . Crowbar (in lieu of hand weapon) • Water-purification pump Once you have chosen your gear, make sure everything works. Try it all, over and over again. Wear your backpack for an entire day. If the weight is too much in the comfort of your fortress, imagine how it will feel after a daylong hike. Some of these problems can be solved by choosing objects that combine various tools (some portable radios come equipped with flashlights, survival knives carry compasses, etc.). The Zombie Survival Guide 103 Apply this space-saving philosophy when choosing weapons as well. A silencer for an existing weapon requires less space than a whole new weapon, such as a crossbow and extra bolts. Wearing your pack for a day will also give you an idea where the chafe points are, where the harness needs adjusting, and how best to secure the gear. VEHICLES Why walk when you could ride? Americans have always been obsessed with the idea of labor-saving machinery. In all walks of life, industry struggles in an endless race to invent and perfect machines that make the chores of everyday life faster, easier, and more efficient. And what could be a greater deity of American techno-religion than the automobile? No matter what our age, gender, race, economic sta- tus, or geographic location, we are taught that this omnipotent machine, in all of its wondrous forms, is the answer to our prayers. Why wouldn't this be true during a zombie outbreak? Wouldn't it make sense to just race across hostile ground? Travel time would be reduced from days to mere hours. Equipment storage would no longer be a problem. And what danger would zombies present when you could simply mn them over? These are powerful advantages, to be sure, but with them come a host of equally powerful problems. Consider fuel consumption. Gas stations may be few and far between. Chances are those you do find will have been drained long ago. Determining the exact mileage of your vehicle, packing it with extra fuel, even planning the exact route may get you only so far. How will you know which path will lead to safety? Post-infestation studies, particularly in North America, have shown that most roads quickly become blocked by abandoned vehicles. Additional obstacles may include destroyed bridges, piles of debris, and barricades aban- doned by last-ditch defenders. Off-roading presents an equal if not greater challenge. (See "Terrain Types," pages 109-17) Driving through 104 Max Brooks the countryside, searching for an open path to freedom, is the best way to run out of gas. More than one vehicle has been found alone in the wilderness, tank dry, blood-smeared cabin empty. Imagine a breakdown. Most Westerners transporting their vehicles to Third World countries usually pack a full set of replacement parts. The reasoning behind this is simple: The automobile is one of the most complicated machines on earth. On bad roads, without the convenient auto garage, this machine can quickly become a pile of useless junk. And then there is noise. Roaring through an infestation may seem attractive when things are going well. But any powered engine, no mat- ter how good the muffler, generates more noise than the loudest human footstep. If you find yourself in a vehicle that for whatever reason can- not go another foot, grab your gear and run! Until this moment, you have been announcing your presence to every ghoul in the area. Now, with your mechanized mobility gone, good luck in avoiding them. Despite these warnings, the lure of motorized transport can seem irresistible. The following is a short list of typical vehicles and their advantages and disadvantages. 1. The Sedan What is otherwise known as your basic "car" has thousands of varia- tions. This makes it difficult to generalize about their advantages and disadvantages. When choosing, look for gas mileage, equipment stor- age space, and durability. If sedans have one major drawback, it is their lack of all-terrain capability. As stated before, most roads will be The Zombie Survival Guide 105 blocked, jammed, or destroyed. If you own a sedan, imagine how it would perform crossing a field. Now add snow, mud, rocks, tree stumps, ditches, streambeds, and a variety of rusting, forgotten junk. Chances are that your sedan would not get very far. Too often, the land around an infested area has been littered with broken-down and/or stuck sedans. 2. The SUV With a booming economy coupled with an abundance of cheap gaso- line, the 1990s saw an explosion of these types of vehicles — road mon- sters harkening back to the automotive golden age of the 1950s, when bigger was always better. At first glance, they appear to be the ideal means of escape. With the off-road capability of a military vehicle and the comfort and reliability of a sedan, what could be better for fleeing the undead? The answer is: a lot. Despite their appearance, not all SUVs are equipped for all-terrain driving. Many were produced for a consumer who never even contemplated taking his SUV beyond his own neighborhood. But what about safety? Shouldn't the sheer mass of such large vehicles offer more protection? The answer is, again, no. Repeated consumer studies have shown that many SUVs possess safety standards well below that of many mid-sized sedans. That said, some of these vehicles are truly what they appear to be: rugged, dependable workhorses that can handle unforgiving conditions. Research your options carefully so you can tell these genuine models from the gas-guzzling, aesthetically engineered, irresponsibly mar- keted vanity pieces. 3. The Truck This class refers to any mid-sized cargo vehicles, from vans to deliv- ery trucks to recreational vehicles. With poor gas mileage, limited off- road capability (depending on the model), and massive, ungainly hulk, these vehicles could be considered the worst choice in transportation. In many cases, trucks have become stuck in both urban and wilderness settings, transforming their occupants into canned food. 106 Max Brooks 4. TheBus As with the previous class, these large road monsters can present as much a danger to their drivers as to the living dead. Forget speed, forget maneuverability, forget fuel efficiency, off-road capability, stealth, or any other feature you will need to escape an infested area. A bus has none of these. Ironically, if a bus has any "advantage," it is as a means not of escape hut of defense. Twice, hunting groups have driven police buses into infested areas and used their vehicles as mobile fortresses. Unless you plan to use a bus in this way, steer clear of them. 5. The Armored Car These civilian tanks are rare, to say the least. Unless you work for a private security company or have a vast personal fortune, it is unlikely you will have access to one. Despite their poor mileage and lack of all-terrain capability, armored cars present a number of advantages for people on the run. Their massive armor gives the driver virtual invulnerability. Even in a breakdown, those inside could survive as long as their provisions held out. A zombie horde of any size and strength would be incapable of penetrating the reinforced steel. 6. The Motorcycle Definitely the best choice for fleeing an infested area. The motorcy- cle — specifically the dirt bike — can reach places inaccessible to four- wheeled vehicles. Their speed and maneuverability allows them to be The Zombie Survival Guide 107 ridden right through a crowd of zombies. Their light weight allows them to he pushed for miles. Of course, there are draw- backs. Motorcycles have small gas tanks, and offer no protection whatsoever. The statistics show, however, that these are small dis- advantages. When compared to other motorists attempting to escape a zombie outbreak, dirt-bike riders have a 23-to-l survival rate. Sadly, 31 percent of motorcycle fatalities come from ordinary accidents. Reckless and/or arrogant riders could find themselves killed just as easily by a crash as by the jaws of walking dead. 7. Additional Motor- Vehicle Eqltpment • Tire-patching gear • Pump Extra fuel (as much as can be carried and stored outside of the cabin) • Extra parts (within size limits) • C.B. radio • Instruction manual Repair kit (jumper cables, jack, etc.) 8. Alternate Road Transportation A. The Horse No one can dispute the obvious advantage of an escape on horseback. Fueling from a gas station becomes irrelevant. Extra supplies are reduced to feed, blanket, and some additional medicine. Terrain options increase, as four hooves don't need a road. Before the luxury of automobiles, people traveled quite efficiently on these fast, sturdy animals. Before saddling up and hitting the trail, however, keep in mind these simple warnings. As anyone who's even ridden a pony as a child will agree, horseback riding requires skill. Forget how easy it looks in Westerns. The skills needed to ride and care for horses are dif- ficult to master. Unless yon already know how, don't think you can learn on the go. Another drawback, specific to dealing with zombies, is that horses are notoriously spooked by the undead. Even the scent of a zombie, carried by the wind and maybe miles from the source, will be enough to send most horses into hysterics. This could be an advan- tageous early-warning system to an extremely experienced rider, one who knows how to control his animal. For most, however, the end result could be a catapult toss to the ground, injuries and all. The horse, at that moment, would not only leave its hapless rider stranded, but its frantic neighing would also serve to alert nearby zombies. B. The Bicycle In a class by itself, this vehicle offers the best of both worlds. The com- mon bicycle is fast, quiet, muscle-powered, and easy to maintain. Add to this the additional advantage that it is the only vehicle you can pick up and carry if the terrain gets too rough. People using bicycles to The Zombie Survival Guide 109 escape from infested areas have almost always fared better than those on foot. For optimum performance, use a mountain bike, as opposed to the racing or recreational model. Don't let your speed and mobility go to your head, however. Wear standard safety gear, and choose cau- tion over speed. The last thing you want is to end up in a ditch, legs broken, bike trashed, with the shuffling of undead feet growing louder with each step. TERRAIN TYPES Much of our species' evolution has been a struggle to master our envi- ronment. Some would say we've gone too far. This may or may not be true. What cannot be argued, especially in the case of industrialized, First World countries, is that it is possible to assert complete control 110 Max Brooks over the forces of nature. In the comforts of your own home, you con- trol the elements. You decide when it should be hot or cold, wet or dry. You decide to erase the day by pulling the shades, or purge the night by simply turning on a lamp. Even the smells and, in some cases, the sounds of the outside world can be expunged by the walls and closed windows of the artificial bubble you call home. In that bubble, the environment takes orders from you; out in the world, on the run from a mob of ferocious zombies, the exact opposite is true. You will be at nature's mercy, unable to change even the slightest aspect of the envi- ronment that you previously took for granted. Here, adaptation will be the key to survival, and the first step to that adaptation is to know your terrain. Every environment you encounter will have its own set of rules. These rules must be studied and respected at all times. This respect will determine whether that terrain becomes your ally or enemy. 1 Forest (Temperate/Tropical) The density of many high trees enhances concealment. Animal noises, or lack thereof, can provide warning of approaching danger. Soft earth will serve to muffle your footsteps. Occasional sources of natural food (nuts, berries, fish, game, etc.) will supplement and extend your packed rations. Sleeping in the branches of a large tree may permit you a safe night's rest. One irritating disadvantage comes from the canopy above. If you hear a helicopter overhead, you will not be able to sig- nal it quickly. Even if the crew does spot you, they'd need a large clear- ing to land. This may be frustrating as you hear but are unable to see possible salvation flying right above your head. 2. Plains Wide open spaces allow zombies to spot you at great distances. F pos- sible, avoid them. If not, keep a sharp lookout for the undead. Make sure you see them before they see you. Drop to the ground immedi- ately. Wait for them to pass. If motion is necessary, crawl. Stay down until you've cleared the danger zone. The Zombie Survival Guide 111 For concealment, nothing works better than tall crops. The question is: Will this work to your advantage or to a lurking ghoul's? Noise will be a critical factor. Traipsing through dry crops will create enough din to attract zombies from far and wide. Even at their wettest, travel through fields slowly, listen carefully, and be ready for close combat at any time. 4. Hills Traveling through rolling terrain will limit your visibility. If possible, avoid high ground. Stick to valleys. Keep an eye on the surrounding hilltops in case the unexpected zombie should spot you. High ground can be useful for getting your bearings, confirming your route, and confirming zombie locations within the area. Approach high ground with extreme caution. Travel low, on your stomach, with eyes primed for a slouching figure and ears alert for that distinctive moan. 5. Swamp If possible, avoid wetlands altogether. The noise of splashing through water prevents any chance of stealth. Poisonous and predatory wildlife are as much a threat as the undead. Soft mud will impede your advance, especially with a heavy pack. Always stick to £hrry dry ground. If necessary, wade through only the shallowest water. Watch 112 Max Brooks for ripples or any subsurface motion. A zombie might have sunk through the soft mud and be trapped just below the waterline. Look for tracks and animal carcasses. As in forests, listen to the wildlife. Their physical presence will also act as an early-warning mechanism. Hundreds of different animal and bird species live in this ecosystem. Only the threat of large predators would be enough to silence them. If you find yourself in the middle of a swamp and suddenly hear absolutely nothing, you will know the undead are close. 6. Tundra This subarctic environment is the most human-friendly on earth. Long winter nights are safe for travel, as the extremely low temperatures The Zombie Survival Guide 113 freeze zombies in their tracks. The long summer days put sight- dependent humans on equal parity with their omnisensed, undead pur- suers. This allows for more time spent on the go. Ironically, this subarctic twilight has also proven to aid in deeper, more relaxed sleep. Escapees bedding down for the "night" have consistently reported the ability to truly rest without the fear of a putrid mob rushing at them from out of the darkness. 7. Desert Apart from urban areas, hot, arid zones can be the most dangerous environments on earth. Even without the threat of zombies, dehydra- tion and/or heatstroke can kill a healthy human in several hours. The best way to avoid these lethal conditions is, obviously, to travel by night. Unfortunately, this will be impossible, as night movement is highly discouraged during an outbreak. Traveling should take place for three hours after dawn and three hours before dusk. The brightest, hottest part of the day should be spent immobile and shaded. Use hours of total darkness for rest. This will slow your journey but greatly 114 Max Brooks reduce the risks of attack. More than in any other terrain, make sure you either have enough water for the trek or know exactly where to obtain it. If possible, avoid deserts altogether. Never forget that this environment can kill you just as easily as any walking dead. 8. Urban As stated before, areas of high population density should be avoided at all costs when on the rnn. Within their boundaries will be a mael- strom of unspeakable chaos. Imagine a large number of people — say, half a million — left to their own devices in a city without running water, electricity, phones, food delivery, medical attention, garbage collection, fire control, or law enforcement? Now add thousands of carnivorous humanoid creatures prowling the bloodstained streets. Imagine half a million human beings — frightened, frantic, frustrated, fighting for their lives. No conventional battlefield, no riot, no "nor- mal" breakdown in social order can possibly prepare you for the nightmare that is a city besieged by the living dead. If you must ignore all common sense and travel through an urban area, the fol- lowing rules will improve (if by no means guarantee) your chances of survival: A. Know the Area! This rule begs repeating, because nowhere is it more vital than in urban areas. How large is the city you are entering? How wide are its roads? Where are the choke points, such as bridges or tunnels? Where are the blind alleys or dead-end streets? Are there factories, chemical plants, or other places that store hazardous materials? Where are the con- struction sites that might present obstacles? Are there flat, open areas such as playing fields and parks that would cut your travel time? Where are the hospitals, police stations, churches, and any other build- ings where zombies might he attracted to hiding humans? One city map would he essential, an additional guidebook even better, but first- hand knowledge is the best. The Zombie Survival Guide 115 B. Never Use Four-Wheeled Vehicles The chances of finding a continuously open street from one end of a city to the other are practically nil. Unless you have a constant stream of up-to-the-second information about such a route, don't even think of attempting to find one with your car, truck, or SUV. A motorbike will allow you to skirt blocked roads. Its noise, however, cancels this advantage. By traveling on foot or bicycle, you have the advantage of speed, stealth, and versatility in this concrete maze. C. Use Freeways If the outbreak has moved from active battle to full infestation, the safest route will be by freeway. Since the 1950s, freeways have been built through every large and medium-sized city in the United States. Their layouts are generally straight, decreasing travel time. Long sec- tions are lined with tall fences or are suspended above ground, which makes it almost impossible for ghouls to reach you. If they do find an on-ramp or breach the fences, you will still have the speed to either ride away (on your bike or motorcycle) or simply mn. Four-wheeled vehicles are, again, not an option, as every freeway will undoubtedly be jammed by static vehicles. Many will contain zombies — bitten humans who attempted to flee the city, succumbed to their wounds, and reanimated while still belted into their seats. Examine each vehi- cle before approaching, and watch for those with open or broken win- dows. Keep your machete handy for the sudden grasping hand. Be extremely cautious when using firearms, silenced or otherwise. Remember you are walking among a minefield of full or partially filled fuel tanks. One stray bullet or a single spark, and the living dead will be the least of your problems. D. Remain Above Ground Storm drains, subways, sewers, and other types of underground struc- tures can shield you from the hordes above. However, as on freeways, you run the risk of being cornered by zombies already lurking in the 116 Max Brooks area. Unlike freeways, you do not have the luxury of hopping over a wall or jumping from an overpass. If confronted, there may be no place to run. Traveling below ground also ensures permanent darkness, already one strike against you. The acoustics of most tunnels are far better than what you find above ground. While this may not allow zom- bies to get a fix on your position, it will set off a chain reaction throughout your subterranean passage. Unless you have expert knowl- edge of the system — unless you helped design, build, or maintain it — don't go anywhere near it. E. Watch for Friendly Fire Even if a city or section of it has been declared "overrun" (completely taken by zombies), there may still be pockets of humanity. These sur- vivors will undoubtedly shoot first and identify their attackers later. To avoid friendly fire, be on the lookout for gatherings of zombies. This could indicate a still-raging battle. Also, look for piles of dead bodies. They could mark the kill zone of a sniper from a nearby stronghold. Listen for gunfire, try to determine its location, and give it a wide berth. Look and listen for other signs such as smoke, lights in windows, human voices, or the sound of machinery. Again, watch for the bodies. Mounds of corpses, especially those facing one direction, denote a con- certed attempt by the undead to reach an objective. The fact that they fell in the same place could mean that a well-trained sniper picked them off from a fixed range. If you feel yourself close to humans, do not attempt to contact them. Making recognizable noises or shouting, "Don't shoot!" along the way will only attract the undead. I? Enter by Dawn, Leave by Dusk Unless the city is too large to traverse by daylight, never stop and rest within its limits. As has been said before, the perils suffered by rural nocturnal travel multiply a hundredfold in an urban setting. If you find yourself entering a city with only several hours of daylight remaining, retreat back into the countryside for the night. If you find yourself near a city's limits with only minutes to sundown, keep going until you are The Zombie Survival Guide 117 well clear before stopping to make camp. This is the one time when traveling by night is acceptable. The countryside in darkness is always safer (relatively) than the city in broad daylight. G. Sleep with an Escape Some cities may be logistically impossible to cross in one day. Especially now, with urban sprawl and "in-fill" (the development of land between two urban centers), it is becoming more difficult to define a city's limits. In these cases, it will be necessary to find a suit- able place to sleep or, at least, rest for the following day. Look for buildings, preferably no more than four stories, situated close to (but not touching) each other. A building with a flat roof and only one entrance is your best temporary shelter. First, ensure that you can jnmp safely from one roof to another. Second, seal the door to your roof. If that proves impossible, barricade it with items that will make the greatest possible noise if broken. Third, always have a long-term escape plan as well as a short-term one. If zombies do stumble onto the roof, waking yon in time to jnmp to the next roof, possibly the next one, and finally making it to the street, what then? Without a long-term escape plan, all yon will have done is jumped into the proverbial fire. ALTERNATE MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION 1. By Air Statistics have shown that flying is the safest way to travel. When escaping an infested area, this could not he more true. Time en route compresses to minutes. Terrain and other physical barriers become insignificant. The need for food, supplies, practically every lesson of this chapter, fades as yon soar well above the heads of teeming ghouls. However, traveling by air does have its disadvantages. Depending on the type of aircraft and the conditions in question, these disadvantages could cancel any perk of taking to the air. 118 Max Brooks A. Fixed-Wing Aircraft For speed and availability, nothing beats the standard airplane, assum- ing at least one person in your group knows how to fly one. Fuel will literally be a matter of life and death. If your journey requires a re- fueling stop, make sure you know its exact location and can be assured of a safe arrival. In the first stages of outbreaks, many private citizens have taken off in their private planes with no knowledge of their des- tination. Many crashed, while others tried to refuel at infested areas. In one case, a former stunt pilot flew his plane out of the danger zone, ran out of fuel, and attempted to parachute to safety. By the time he touched down, every zombie within a ten-mile radius had seen his plane crash and were slowly approaching his position. (The result was reported by another pilot.) Pontoon aircraft negates this potential haz- ard (provided you remain over water). However, ditching in the mid- dle of a lake or ocean may leave you safe from ghouls hut not from nature. Read accounts of World War II pilots who spent weeks in life rafts after being shot down, and you may want to think twice before climbing into your amphibious bird. B. Helicopter The ability to land on any structure, at any time, presents a giant leap above fixed-wing aviation. Running out of fuel is not a death sentence, The Zombie Survival Guide 119 as you do not need an airstrip to land. But what if you come down in a hostile environment? The noise alone will announce your presence. Apply the same rules of fixed-wing aircraft concerning refueling. C. Balloon One of the most primitive flying machines is actually one of the most efficient. A balloon, either hot-air or helium, can remain aloft for weeks. disadvantage, however, is a lack of propulsion. Balloons depend largely on wind and thermal currents to carry them. Unless you have extensive experience, heading off in a balloon may do little more than leave you hanging helplessly above hostile ground. D. Airship They may look ridiculous, they may be almost impossible to find, but if you're looking to travel by air, nothing is better than a helium-filled dirigible. These blimps, perfected during World War I and well on their way to replacing airplanes, were almost abandoned after the Hin- denburg disaster of 1937. Today they exist as little more than floating billboards or airborne cameras for sporting events. During an infesta- tion, however, they combine the longevity of a balloon with the mobil- ity and all-terrain landing ability of a helicopter. Airships have been used four times during zombie outbreaks — once for escape, once for study, and twice for search-and-destroy missions. All were resounding successes. 2. By Water Boats, in almost any form, have been found to be the safest form of transport during an attack. As stated previously, although zombies do 120 Max Brooks not use their lungs and can travel underwater, they lack the coordina- tion to swim. For this reason, traveling by boat has many of the same advantages as flying. Many times, people escaping across some body of water have looked down to see ghouls looking up at them from the bottom. Even if the keel of their boat is less than an inch out of the zombie's reach, the humans inside have nothing to fear. Studies have shown that over-water escapes have a survival ratio five times that of land. Because most of the United States is riddled with rivers and canals, transport is theoretically possible for hundreds of miles. In some cases, humans using boats as artificial islands on lakes or ponds have existed for weeks while the shores swarmed with living dead. A. Types